I’m Only Looking For ONE Thing Tonight…

Okay, so it’s Thursday, but not just any Thursday. This Thursday marks the end of my seemingly perpetual suicide watch. This Thursday marks the start of the NFL season, where dreams become reality and everyone begins narcissistically shoving their iPhone 8 in my face, asking me my opinion on their 8-team fantasy roster.

Here’s the deal: I, like everyone else on the planet, don’t give a FUCK about your fantasy team. In terms of what I care about, it’s probably at the bottom of the bottle, bathing in backwash along with your dream from last night.

That’s another thing: NO ONE cares about the dream you had last night. We all dream. Your dreams aren’t any crazier than mine. The only difference is that I don’t remember them because, well, they’re fucking dreams…

Anyway, Green Bay squares off against Chicago tonight at 8:20 in what should be yet another epic clash in NFC North lore. Khalil Mack and the Bears should be looking to throw an onslaught of pressure into GB’s backfield and Aaron Rodgers should be looking for scapegoats by the 3rd quarter if the Packers are trailing by more than a score.

And this is the things about Aaron Rodgers: For YEARS, I’ve been saying “Yeah, this guy’s clearly talented, but at what cost?” I don’t care how talented you are if you’re constantly looking for teammates/coaches you can hurl head-first under an 18-wheeler. All the dude does is toss guys under the bus and roll his eyes anytime he isn’t able to roll out to his right and hit his 4th string tight end as he spread eagle’s his ass out of bounds.

If that doesn’t happen, it never falls on Rodgers’ shoulders. It’s either the coach, or the defense, or the front office, or the guy selling churros outside the stadium. It’s never, well, Rodgers because, well, he’s Aaron Rodgers.

And that’s the other thing: The fact the Aaron Rodgers GOAT discussion even exists in fucking ridiculous. Absolutely ASININE.

Last year, the Patriots dismantled the Packers in primetime and the only thing I heard leading up to the game was the whole “Who’s the GOAT?” conversation between Brady and Rodgers.

Have we lost our fucking minds?!? Am I missing something?!?

Brady had to win 2 MVPs and 5 Super Bowls before people conceded that title. Rodgers has one ring and nearly a decade’s worth of posteason failure and all it takes is a Week 9 SNF matchup to stumble into that circle. Give me a break…

So yeah, the big thing I’m watching tonight is Rodger’s body language. Given the Packers’ decision to enlist the services of a first-year head coach in Matt LaFleur, this season could have the makings of an absolute disaster. Rodgers has already passive aggressively flamed LaFleur for some of his coaching decisions so I’ll be greasing my popcorn with extra butter as the season progresses.

– Joey Boats (@joey_boats)

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