NY Post: An Australian vegan has a beef with her neighbors over what she claims is the smell of meat and fish coming from their barbecue, according to reports.
Cilla Carden has been locked in a legal battle since last year with her neighbors, claiming that the odors have ruined her quality of life at her home in Perth, 9News reported.
I’m not trying to be an asshole here, let me make that very clear. But I will say this. If my neighbor tried to take me to court, TWICE, over this. It would be BBQ breakfast, lunch and dinner at chateau de CEO every day. I wouldn’t even want it but I’d do it just out of spite. Every single day until she moved or I died of high cholesterol from all that BBQ.
I’d open up my own BBQ business and try to lure Guy Fieri there for an episode of Dinners, Drive-Ins and Dives. I would quit my job, stop blogging. Basically what I’m saying is I’d completely change my entire life just to piss this woman off if she was my neighbor. My spite knows no bounds. If we’re being completely honest, I’d most likely follow her wherever she moved. Buy the house next to her. Shit, I’d buy both houses on each side of her.
Cross breeze that bitch with brisket and chicken thighs until she drove herself insane. Teach my children how to grill before they can walk. Make sure they followed around her children on the off chance she actually finds someone crazy enough to procreate with her. An entire lineage of people bred to destroying this families happiness each and every day. That’s the American dream.