The Patriots Released Gunner Olszewski And Now Every Patriots Fan Is Depressed

BadGalAli

Today is cut day for all NFL teams and while most fans don’t give a fuck about the release of the 7th best receiver at camp, Patriots fans are struggling to cope with the release of fan favorite of the summer, Gunner Olszewski.

Besides just having a badass name for a football player, Once we’ve exuded our energy thinking about who’s going to be the next Tom Brady, we’re on the lookout for who Bill Belichick is going to anoint the next Troy Brown/Wes Welker/Julian Edelman. It’s a New England tradition. With Braxton Berrios fading into the background after an injury his rookie year and without drafting Adam Humphries or Hunter Renfrow, we all turned our attention to undrafted cornerback turned WR, none other than the guy named Gunner.

Don’t get me wrong it had a lot to do with what Gunner did on the field. He’s the perfect Patriots. Always showing up first for practice and playing snaps on offense, defense and special teams will force your way into the hearts of people all over the states of Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Rhode Island. Probably even some in England too. Brady probably wanted him cut so he wouldn’t win any Patriot of the Week awards.

Although the Patriots WR corps seems like possibly the best Tom Brady has ever had in terms of size and talent, Gunner had quite the challenge in front of him making the official 53 man roster. But when you’re an undrafted cornerback playing wide receiver that can return kicks, you’re probably up for the challenge.

The fact that Gunner was also a return guy made me feel about 85% sure he was making the roster before today. The way the Patriots defense is looking on paper, they are really going to need a functioning return guy on the roster. No one knows the importance of special teams more than Belichick. Also no one treats superstars like undrafted rookies more than Belichick. With the release of Gunner this morning, I can’t help but have night terrors of Edelman and his backwards fingers waiting at the 15 yard line ready to be decapitated. Edelman doesn’t have an off switch so if he’s returning, he’s returning. After all, he’s one of the most prolific punt returners the NFL has ever seen. But Gunner Olszewski had the chance to be even better.

I know, it’s not fair that Patriots fans even get to appreciate the nuances of the return game. A lot of teams don’t have the luxury of keeping someone on the roster solely to return kicks and punts but I guess with the stacked talent elsewhere, the Patriots don’t either.

I hope Bill Belichick can sleep at night knowing he’s breaking the hearts of millions of Patriots fans across the globe on Twitterface. Now excuse us while we collectively hold our breaths waiting for Gunner to make it past waivers and to the practice squad so we can sign and release him 25 times before the seasons over.

@aliweitz

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