Ray Rice Will Be Speaking To Alabama Football Players About How To Treat The Opposite Sex


Completely on brand move for Ray Rice. No one knows more about how to treat the opposite sex than Ray Rice, except for maybe Kareem Hunt, Harvey Weinstein and Donald Trump.

Nick Saban is a brilliant football coach and thank god, because he will never have to pursue a career in public relations. Ray Rice will be Alabama’s “Title IX speaker” along with Jay Bilas, Stephen A. Smith and Mike Tyson. Of all of those names, Mike Tyson just might be the most qualified to speak on how to treat the opposite sex, but the Alabama football team will have to hear Ray Rice.

“Well, he’s obviously going to talk about how to treat the opposite sex and having the proper respect for other people,” Saban said. “And I think that’s important to relationships. It’s important as a person to be able to do those things in a very respectful manner.”

Saban added: “I think a lot of the players can relate to [Rice’s] circumstance. And it will be interesting to hear a guy that has had issues that now has turned a corner and has really done everything he can to help other people not have the same problem that he has. I have a tremendous amount of respect for him doing that and we’re certainly glad to have him here.”

OBVIOUSLY. What else could Ray Rice possibly speak to a group of football players about? Has Alabama already had Ray Lewis on to talk about not murdering people? I think the guys could learn a lot from his experience.

The scariest quote from Saban here is that “a lot of the players can relate to Rice’s circumstance”. What the fuck does that mean? Alabama’s just got a whole bunch of future domestic abusers on their hands so better to get ahead of the story now instead of waiting until they all get drafted in the 1st round and get a 2 game suspension for abusing their wives and girlfriends. It’s a little different for these guys who have maybe grown up in bad situations turning their lives around without punching any women in the face.

The rule of thumb has got to be that once you’ve got film or audio of you beating a woman, you can never get a speaking engagement about how to treat women. As a certified woman myself, I feel like I’ll speak for most women when I say even if Ray Rice has had a complete transformation, we don’t want him as our spokesperson. Has he consulted with any actual women on this or did he just ask Terrell Suggs, a currently employed NFL player, what he recommends?

I’m going to need someone from the Alabama football team to report back to a woman what Ray Rice’s advice is on how to treat us. Is the whole speech just don’t get caught on camera punching them? Without that video tape Ray Rice is probably still getting picked up in the 4th round of some fantasy drafts.



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