Time To Rank The White Claw Flavors

Joe

Summer 2019 is the summer of Claw Daddies like myself. White Claws no longer belong to the ladies, they are the manliest drink you can consume. Higher alcohol % than most light beers and only 2g of carbs. Women want a fit man that likes to party. Nothing says I care about my physique and also like to range more than a perfectly chilled Claw. So the question is now, which Claw do I drink. Easy answer is all of them but like everything in life. Somethings are better than others, so I present the official White Claw Flavor Power Rankings.

5. Ruby Grapefruit: Now, in the full disclosure, I hate grapefruits. Just not a fan, so a grapefruit flavored drink has zero shot. I’ve had it and think it doesn’t taste too much like grapefruit at all. But I’m a man of principle. So bottom of the list you go Ruby.

4. Natural Lime: The lime one goes if you’re on the beach on a hot day. Not a strong taste so perfect for when you’re baking in the sun. Problem is it doesn’t have enough pop for me otherwise. Need my spiked seltzer to kick me right in the nuts.

3. Raspberry: The OG favorite flavor. Back in the day (last summer) raspberry was the favorite flavor by a mile. It was like the first girl I ever kissed, she introduced me into a whole new world. But unfortunately all that did was open pandora’s box. As fast as raspberry came into my life, she left even faster.

2. Black Cherry: Which brings me to Black Cherry. I mean, who doesn’t clove a little cherry in their drinks? Flavor just pops. I consider black cherry the Beyonce of flavors. People that love it will fight you to the death if you don’t say it’s the greatest ever and everyone likes it, even if it’s just a little.

1. Mango: But there can only be one king and his name is Mango. First time I even found out they had mango was a drunken night at Shenanigans in Sea Isle. Looked across the bar and I spotted the WC can with a color I’ve never seen before. Like the smooth operator I am, I waved a can down myself. The second our lips locked it was all over. I’m a one flavor man now. No more bouncing around town messing with raspberry then black cherry then lime and back to black cherry. Mango stands alone.

Featured Image: WhiteClaws.com 

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