Radioactive Rattlesnake In My Backyard

A couple of weeks ago this segment was briefly featured on my local news station, and I haven’t been able to shake it from my memory since

Okay fine, not in my literal backyard* but Central Oklahoma, Just 2-hours north of where I live. An adventure that would of made Stan Lee proud was unraveling in real life. Two Oklahoma residents were arrested after police pulled them over and found Radio Active Uranium, a Rattlesnake and some cheap Kentucky Deluxe Whiskey. I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

Image – Thoisoi2 YT

It’s almost verbatim the plot of Spider-Man, introduce some radioactive elements to a creature the whole world is terrified of, and voilà! America’s first Red Neck Super Hero.

Apparently Oklahoma police don’t have the same open mind as myself because they arrested our up and coming hero. Stephen Jennings was charged with driving a stolen vehicle, open container and driving under suspension. Steve’s plan of turning into Marvels newest Avenger, RattleSnake-Man, was foiled before he was able to save a single damsel in distress. Buzz Kill.

I’ve honestly racked my brain for the past couple of weeks to try and decipher what this Guardian of Peace was planning. The amazing part was that he did not face any charges for possessing the rattlesnake nor the Uranium. So it’s likely that Steve will be out of jail sooner than later, and for me that day could not come soon enough.

For now however, we wait for his release and his inevitable venomous vigilante tactics to return and save our country.

#FreeRattleSnakeSteveImage – AP

*- “my neck of the woods, roun’ ’bout, over yonder and inma backyard”, are all acceptable phrases for describing dimensions or directions in Oklahoma


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July 25, 2019 12:04 pm

Damn Steve is wildman!?