Woman’s Final Words After Being Sentenced to 6-15 Years in Prison: “Go Birds”


Oof, this is going to be a tough blog to get through without cracking too many jokes considering the circumstances:

If I start with “Don’t do drugs” or “Rest in peace” does that give me a longer leash to laugh at how funny this is?

The calmness in which she said “Go Birds” with her hands cuffed behind her back, two officers at her side and facing 15 years in prison is just mind boggling.

Getting sentenced to 6-15 years in jail because I killed a guy by selling him some stepped on fentanyl shit might be the only time in my life where I wasn’t thinking about the Philadelphia Eagles.

But this woman, no, she is such a diehard that even with her life completely turned upside down, she still took it on the chin and gave a solid “Go Birds” with pride.

I read a tweet once that said the phrase “Go Birds” is the shalom of Philadelphia. Go Birds means “hello, nice to see you”. Go Birds means “Bye, I’ll see you soon”. Go Birds means “I’m sorry I sold you heroin laced with a lethal opioid that ended up killing you”. Good for any scenario!

All the time, I try to defend Philadelphia because we are often referred as scumbags or these barbaric people. It’s not true, there are fantastic, good-hearted, passionate people in this town. But, this is now twice in the past year a criminal has been video taped, literally on their way to a jail cell, saying Go Birds. It is a label we will never strip.

I’m just sorry for the loss here. Ah, not the death. I meant her loss. I doubt she will get to watch much of the Carson Wentz Revenge Tour in a federal penitentiary.

Oh well, GO BIRDS.



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