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NSFW: Tom Brady Is Enjoying His Offseason By Grabbing Gisele’s Booty On The Beach

BadGalAli

Recently I declared the current time as the hottest Tom Brady has ever looked. By the looks of these photos it appears that Gisele agrees.

Tom and Gisele were on their annual beach vaca before he re-dedicates his life to his one true passion, winning Super Bowls. With an ass like Gisele has, it’s a good thing she publicly utilizes it for money because there’s no way anyone of importance is looking at it between September and February. And Tom’s certainly getting his money’s worth.

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I mean that is undeniably the hottest, most totally natural picture that’s ever been taken. It’s almost like these two know what they’re doing behind a lens. I know she’s one of the most beautiful people on the planet, and she doesn’t have even one bubble of cellulite, but I felt like Gisele was older than 38. She must have started modeling at like 17 for how long she’s been in our lives.

I didn’t even realize couples even liked each other still after 10 years, let alone still grabbed booty. Tom was feelin’ himself and if I didn’t enjoy looking at this so much I’d say get a room.

It is actually extremely infuriating that Gisele doesn’t have a stretch mark to be zoomed in on in these low quality paparazzi pics and has an 8 pack. I believe she’s given up tomatoes and alcohol and coffee and carbs. But for all the talk about the TB12 method and how much it helps Brady on the field, why isn’t he just ripped at this point? Why aren’t we seeing more muscle definition here? Just maybe do chest day once a month Tom.

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Gisele is the most perfect Boston sports wife someone could ever have. She’s hotter than literally every single person living in the New England area (tied with Olivia) and she doesn’t even really care about football. Without Tom there’s no chance she’d know about first downs and whether or not Jason Witten is retired or un-retired this year (what’s the answer?) Doesn’t ever mix it up with fans, besides when she’s politely explaining that Tom can’t throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. Untouchable to Boston media, Gisele gives the exactly perfect amount of fucks to make us all intimidated. It fits with her overall brand of being generally perfect.

This is a photo you really look at for a while. A happiness that comes from being incredibly rich and attractive is just something I’ll never attain so instead I’ll settle for Tom Brady and Gisele.

@aliweitz

 

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