Do You Think I’m Afraid of Russia’s FaceApp? Give Me a Break…

Joey Boats

Okay, so the British Open is well underway and Tiger’s back. I’m sure I’ll have some commentary on the event in the future but I have bigger fish to fry…

Throughout the week, the biggest infatuation on social media has been with this FaceApp thing. For those unaware, it’s essentially this app where you take a picture of yourself (or anyone, for that matter) and select a filter the nice people at FaceApp have labeled “old.” From there, it transforms you into a 75-year-old, meth-addicted pedophile.

Long story short, it’s just an easy way to rake Instagram likes. It allows people who aren’t creative to feel like they’re creative. Instead of just narcissistically ripping a picture of themself and stuffing it down the pipeline, they manipulate the photo because “See, I’m funny.”

And this isn’t the first time some facial recognition software has swept the Internet. Earlier this year, Snapchat allowed us to switch genders, which was incredibly convenient for people like myself who can’t afford the surgery.

The only difference is that the FaceApp company is from Russia, which means they’re obviously using it for world domination.

Like, grow up people. Pabst Blue Ribbon was sold to a Russian company, but that doesn’t mean they’re sprinkling mind control drugs throughout the fermentation process. You people are watching too much Chernobyl and Stranger Things

It’s the same thing with the whole Facebook privacy outrage from last year. Everybody and their mother just freaking out because Facebook was using our activity to better guage advertising demographics.

Point blank: If you don’t want these companies “spying” on you, don’t give them your information. In what world do you think that posting information for public consumption should be private. Give me a break…

As for Russia, come get me dude. You want my Senior photo? My Blockbuster Rewards Card ID number? My Outback Steakhouse gift card receipts? Take em’. Go for it. What the fuck are you gonna do with a picture of me? Sell it? Good luck…

– Joey Boats (@joey_boats)

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