Madden 20 Ratings Has Shaken Athletes To Their Core

BadGalAli

I’m going to hope it was just because it was a slow news day but people all over the Internet, namely athletes themselves, were verklempt at the Madden ratings of every single player in the NFL. If Madden was smart they’d gather a group of the smartest trolls online to come up with the mix of scores that will cause the most unrest. Give the most dramatic, narcissistic players a random low score for short route running. Gotta start with the wide receivers, that’s where you’ll find the most unrest.

Kyle Van Noy is pretty much a wide receiver stuck in a linebacker uniform.

Tight ends are receivers too…

Next, time to stir things up with one of the most easily triggered fanbases. Carson Wentz at an 82, sure why not, that’ll do it.

Then lets get some content by forcing players to guess their score and try to handle it humbly.

But always make sure to somehow give Tom Brady a little bit of extra motivation to beat Patrick Mahomes (again). Keep your videos of Mahomes throwing outside the stadium Chiefs fans, gotta have a diverse ratings portfolio.

Lastly, open the floor for discussion and ask the wonderful, well spoken people of the internet decide if they are all in agreement. How boring would it be if everyone was just like yep, 74 for speed seems pretty accurate for our starting cornerback if we’re all being honest here.

Then just sit back and watch it all unfold. Put the Eagles and Cowboys really close in team rankings for the fuck of it. Now there’s infighting between fans whether their kicker is rated too high, threads dedicated to proving Taylor Lewan’s toughness should be higher. It’s World War 3 out there people for anyone ranked below a 90.

Very rarely, you’ll end up with a few that just don’t give a fuck. Those gems need to be given an extra rating for it.

@aliweitz

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