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Music Festival People Are Absolute LUNATICS…

Joey Boats

So it’s a reentry Monday and I’m battling. As I get older, getting back into the swing of things after a long weekend of cheap booze and leftover Papa John’s is no cakewalk. Contrary to consensus, garlic knots and spiked seltzers aren’t necessarily endorsed by the Surgeon General, but I digress…

Over the weekend, the annual Levitate Music & Arts Festival took place on the south shore. Basically, it’s just this 3-day live music event where swaths of political science graduates flock to take Instagram pictures, wear Toon Squad jerseys, and scarf down truck cuisine. It’s one of those places where everyone in attendance has spent the last few years trying to “find” themself.

So yeah, it’s pretty safe to say it’s not my type of environment but a buddy of mine offered me free VIP tickets so I just said fuck it and headed through.

For starters, I normally despise large public events. Not to sound like the Grinch, but there’s only so much “people” I can take, especially when showering within a week of the occasion is seemingly optional.

All things considered, I spent roughly nine hours breathing exclusively through my mouth. Between the weed, seafood trucks, porta potties, and JUUL vapor, the air quality rivaled that of Chernobyl. All that was missing was graphite and inexplicable British accents.

If that wasn’t enough, I managed to run into a couple ex-girlfriends and can honestly declare there’s nothing worse than running into a past fling/her current boyfriend and realizing she COMPLETELY upgraded. The guy’s seemingly always over six-feet tall with two 401k’s and I’m just sitting there like “Yeah, I microwaved baked ziti for breakfast this morning.”

With concerns to the music, I was probably the least educated person in attendance, which sucks because the people at these events are insanely passionate.

Festival life is like liquorice in that it’s not for everyone, but the people who do enjoy it absolutely LIVE for it. Literally 20% of the crowd lives out of conversion vans, financing their travel/admission by peddling glow sticks and uniquely shaped rocks in the parking lot.

All in all, I think I’m out on going back next year. It’s one of those things I’d highly recommend experiencing, but there’s only so many times I can hear “They’re so much better live than on the album” before I throw in the towel…

– Joey Boats (@joey_boats)

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