Someone Broke Into Allie Long’s Hotel Room And Stole The Key To The City

CNN: “As the Women’s World Cup soccer champions celebrate their fourth trophy, someone went into midfielder Allie Long’s hotel room and took money and a few very special personal items. Long tweeted Thursday that someone stole her belongings after ESPN’s 2019 ESPY Awards(where the team took home the Best Team title). “Someone stole my wedding ring, cash and the key to my favorite city after just receiving it from my hotel room. Do you make copies @NYCMayor? I would love a new one,” Long said”

What type of unamerican bullshit is this?

These women are the pride of America right now and we’ve got scumbags running around breaking into their rooms and stealing their shit? But if there is one soulless city in this country of ours that would house this type of behavior, it’s LA. Place is literally just a hot dumpster of regret and shame. If you’ve never been to downtown LA and you’re thinking of going, let me save you the trip. Instead wait until mid August, roughly around noon go find your local McDonalds or some sub par eatery. Walk around back and find the dumpster. Jump in, pour spoiled milk all over your body and punch yourself in the face. Boom, you’ve been to LA.

We need to band together find this guy or gal and fire them into the moon. I want a full on manhunt. Lights, helicopters, dogs, the works. Spare no expense. If you have any tips of who did this email them to us @ We’ll embarrass them endlessly or at least until we call the authorities.

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