Mike Vrabel Would Cut His Own Dick Off To Win A Super Bowl (He Already Has Three)


Usually I’m writing these headlines in a more threatening manner, but this time Mike Vrabel left me with no choice. It’s not even fun to write those words without real vitriol behind it.

On a podcast called “Bussin’ With The Boys”, hosted by Taylor Lewan and Will Compton, Titans coach Mike Vrabel was asked if God somehow existed, cared about football, came down from the heavens and said he could get a Super Bowl win if he severed his dick off as a sacrifice, would he do it? Vrabel answered in the most Patriot Way I’ve ever heard. That many years in the Bill Belichick School of PR ultimately just permeates your brain and becomes part of your DNA.

“Been married 20 years … yeah, probably,” Vrabel says. “You guys will be married for 20 years one day. You won’t need it.”

If Belichick didn’t have such BDE I’d think maybe that’s what he did to jumpstart this dynasty. No proof otherwise, we can rule Robert Kraft out.

I mean truly, Mike Vrabel is as football as it gets. Imagine how tough it is for us as simply Red Zone freebasers to get through the months of June and July. Think about what it’s like if your brain is dreaming about offensive schemes at 3am. I don’t have a dick but I think I might give it up to watch a week 1 Sunday 1pm game between the Jags and the Cardinals right now.

You might think Vrabel’s wife Jen would have a problem with being sexless for the rest of her life?

“She’d be like do you want me to do it? Do you want to do it now?”

Love all of the Vrabels. Keep in mind Mike Vrabel already has 3 Super Bowl rings. If you had audio of Hue Jackson saying he’d cut his dick off for a Super Bowl, I’d just let him do it. Maybe even someone like, say, Danny Amendola, could do it to bring a Super Bowl to Detroit. Just spitballing here.

Vrabel is proof that for real winners, winning one Super Bowl isn’t enough. Taylor Lewan was straight up like no, I will keep my dick thank you. Typical 27 year old answer. Once you’ve been married for 20 years there’s probably not much working correctly anyways.


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