What You Need To Know About The Hot Girl Summer of 2019

If you’ve been anywhere on the Internet in the past 2 months you know this summer is OFFICIALLY the first annual hot girl summer. Companies on twitter trying to fit in with milliennials have finally caught on, so you have about 3 days before this is corny as shit. But until then I’m going to have the hottest hot girl summer and no one can do anything about it.

Hot Girl Summer 2019’s founder is none other than Hot Girl Meg, aka Meg Thee Stallion. When Meg tells us what we’re doing this summer, we listen.

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Ms. Thee Stallion explained for you simpletons who couldn’t guess what a hot girl summer really is.

“It’s about women and men being unapologetically them, just having a good-ass time, hyping up their friends, doing you,” she explained to The Root.

“You definitely have to be a person who can be the life of the party and just a bad bitch.”

Now here is a movement I can join. Hot girl summer is for the bad bitches, something I know just a little bit about. Coincidentally the first hot girl summer is happening right after the first annual bad bitch bracket. If you missed it I feel bad for you but Margot Robbie won, and I might have to take authority and Steve Harvey that crown right over to Meg Thee Stallion as our lord and savior.

Hot girl summer is for everyone, even if you’re actually hot or not. It’s about the attitude of acting like Rihanna without being Rihanna so you kind of have to tell everyone how cool you are. Meg specifically said hot girl summer was for girls AND guys, but as you guys often do, you had to go and make it about you. The same fuckboys that inspired No Scrubs tried to rebrand our hot girl summer into a city boy summer, and then tried to dunk on us saying they’re winning. Many hot girl summer supporters turned to Meg for her spiritual guidance and she delivered.

Oh shit that’s right, we are not giving a fuck what people think about us anymore. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself of the real meaning behind the movement. Hot girl summer is about breaking out the SPF 15 lotion every once in a while, posting a series of Instagrams tastefully showing your ass but with an empowering caption and buying yourself a bunch of clothes you don’t need but deserve. It also means you are required to publicly defend the USWNT at least once to be able to join. Why do we have to stop this at summer? I’m hoping for a hot girl fall and winter too if it means treating myself to a few extra iced coffees without feeling guilty.

Have your whack ass city boy summer, we are not checking the scoreboard (mostly because there are no good sports on during the rest of the summer and we watch sports too mothafuckaaaas)

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@aliweitz

 

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