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A Few Hypothetical Questions To Ask Your Family And Friends During The 4th Of July (NSFW?)

Branded Sports

4th of July is all about BBQs, cold drinks, and some good chit-chat with friends. So why not have some fun with it? Toss a hypothetical or two out there and get to know some people better. Here are a few to get you started, and my thoughts:

  • How many ducks would it take to kill a full grown rhino?
    • Personally, I think it would take at least 1,000. That’s really just the start, too. Those ducks would need to peck the shit out of that rhino just to break his very tough rhino skin. They would need to basically poke out his eyes, then attack a certain area over and over again. Or one duck go all ‘end of Independence Day’ and sacrifice himself. Dive into the rhino’s mouth and suffocate him to death.
  • Would you rather have sex with an animal and no one know about it or not have sex with an animal and everyone think you did?
    • Yikes. No winners here. Depends on the animal, so feel free to choose whatever one you’d want.  Either way, you’d have to just let everyone think you banged an animal. Can’t go around banging animals. That would be too much to know about yourself. You have to try and convince people it’s not that weird or meet other people that bang animals. Marry some girl that has banged her pet. Not a great solution, but a solution nonetheless.
  • You have unlimited money for the rest of your life. But to maintain your unlimited money stream you have to stomp a little girl’s kitten to death in front of her every Christmas morning. How many years could you do it? Also note, the moment you stop you have no money at all. All of it is gone
    • Seems pretty tough. Having to crush an adorable animal in front of a little girl, on the happiest day of the year. Tough. Buuuuuuuuuttt the answer is – until I physically can’t. With unlimited money you can just buy therapy or even some drug that let’s you forget the stomping. Or just get completely blacked out and let it be some faded half-memory half-nightmare. Either way, kitten has to go.
  • Give up oral sex, giving and receiving, for the rest of your life or give up cheese for the rest of your life?
    • This is the easiest one in the world, but I’d love to give you guys the opportunity to chat about it. The clear cut answer is to give up oral, and it’s not even close. Cheese is too versatile. Imagine never having a good sandwich ever again. Or any type of dip at a party for the rest of your life. Cheese is a can’t give up item. No need for BJs when you have brie-Js.

 

So, there you have 4 hypotheticals to chat about around the grill this holiday weekend. Let us know what your answers were, and if your grandmother had a heart attack when you asked her if she’d kill a kitten.

 

Featured Image: LockerDome

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