Brooks Koepka In A Thong (Again) Is The Only Golf Content We Need

Any other professional athlete would be crucified for wearing a green thong and jumping off a boat on vacation. The Giants still haven’t been able to overcome Timberlands on a boat. Brooks Koepka is exactly what golf, and maybe the world, need right now. For 29 years I was blissfully ignorant of the PGA, something called the US Open, and Sunday afternoon couch naps. Now, with a few ass shot thirst traps on Instagram, I’m the biggest Brooks Koepka fan girl around. Convinced he is a plant by my dad to get me to care about golf, we’re all lucky to have Brooks to get us through the tough summer months without football or basketball.

Brooks is not new to the thong life and I have to admit it seems like he’s kind of into it. 6 months ago he posed on vacation with his girlfriend and has clearly been taking lessons.


I was trying to pretend like I was some Instagram model, you know, standing on my at this pointy toes because that’s how the girls make their butts look good. I just didn’t know you can’t flex.

This time he’s rocking a green thong, which he had put on underneath some shorts. I don’t know if it was a dare or just personal preference at this point but his ass looks too good for it to not be on purpose. I mean, is Brooks naturally hairless or has he been waxing? Usually we know how I feel about men’s upper thighs are and the ass crack is much worst. But Brooks is smooth and silky and even kind of tan?

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From Brooks’ Pardon My Take appearance we know he will go to all lengths for a good photo. He lost 24 pounds since last November and rumors deep on the Internet are that he will be appearing in the last issue of ESPN The Magazine’s Body Issue. It may be the first one I actually purchase. I’m bringing back cutting out pictures from magazines and hanging them on my walls in 2019. Just in time for the magazine industry to fold.

Am I a bad person for wanting to see the other angle of this video? We get to see a little front thong adjustment but I’m just very curious what Brooks is working with on the other side. With an ass that smooth and perky it just has to be good.

All I know is Tiger could NEVER.


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