Hill I’ll Die On: Chocolate And Peanut Butter Don’t Belong Together

Everyone relax, I know that title was probably extremely upsetting but let’s take a moment to regroup. Take a deep breath or two, in and out. Alright, can we have an honest conversation now?

Now let me address the first thing people are going to say and that is this: “Joe you’re a fucking idiot, I hate you, I hope you get hit by a car because Reese’s cups are the best thing ever!!!” First off, not nice. Secondly hate to break the news to you. The stuff they put in Reese’s cups isn’t even peanut butter.


Ummmm, you can keep your cups Reese because that’s disgusting. Peanut cream??!!? That’s what you ladies are crowning as your king? I’m not saying Reese’s cups are trash, they are, but all I’m saying is if you think they are the best candy/candy bar you’re a crazy person. The Candy Bar Top 5 Power Ranking goes as so:

  1. Snickers
  2. Twix
  3. Take 5
  4. Baby Ruth
  5. Kit Kat

18464672. Reese’s Cups

You might be thinking but most of those have chocolate and peanuts. You’re 100% correct they do and that’s because chocolate and peanuts are a perfectly fine mixture. The crunch does amazing for texture change and it doesn’t have that peanut butter chalky taste. Peanut M&Ms are an easy top 3 road trip snack. They are perfect. Every Christmas season my grand mother would buy the red and green ones. She kept them in a bowl on her kitchen breakfast high top table. She had to refill that bitch every 10 minutes when I came over. Like Nan, just give me the bag. Let’s cut out the middle man here.

Anyway back to the point at hand, keep chocolate and peanut butter separated. They are perfect by themselves. It’s like mixing ketchup and ranch dressing. They are both doing great things in their respects, no need to force an agenda.

Make sure to follow me on twitter and tell me how much you hate me.



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