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Double Shot At Love With DJ Pauly D And Vinny Episode 12 Recap: Things Are Awkward

BadGalAli

I’ve got to admit, I’ve been thinking only about Ronnie’s teeth for the past week. It’s been hard to focus on anything else, the imagine of Ronnie’s new teeth just pops into my head any time I try to.

He is finally back in my life and on my screen administering a lie detector test to all of the girls still left in the house right now. The results would be so more interesting if it were the other way around, but I’m not complaining about Ronnie’s teeth getting more screen time. They are just so white.

One by one they get interviewed with random questions specific to each person. Mostly softball questions like “Do you like Pauly?” and “Is your name Elle?” but for some reason Derynn gets grilled about her cats. What the fuck? Cat people shaming isn’t cool anymore, people. Cats are awesome get over it. Much to my dismay, Derynn says she would give up her cats for a relationship and I think PETA and the ASPCA should flag her immediately. Anyone that says they’d give up their pet for another human shouldn’t be allowed to own a pet. Give them to me.

Nikki is up and admits that she is in love with Pauly. She also says if Pauly proposed to her tomorrow she’d say yes and everyone gets freaked out. I would answer the same way. Why wouldn’t say yes if DJ Pauly D asked them to get married tomorrow? Alysse is so innocent and normal passes every question, even if she’s attracted to Pauly because OBVIOUSLY SHE IS. WE ALL ARE.

Sadly, Ronnie, his teeth and his sheer pink short sleeved hoodie have to leave. Him and Jenny are the two literal worst people to be giving advice on a dating show, but it was fun while it lasted.

The guys are taking their final women out on actual dates for the first time on the show, out of the house. Pauly will go on dates with Nikki, Derynn, and Elle. Vinny will go out with Alysse, Maria, and also Elle. Elle might not win either one of them but I applaud the way she maximized her time on this show.

Nikki and Pauly are out on their date and Nikki can’t hide how obsessed with Pauly she is, even while holding a chicken finger. She says Pauly knows her more than anyone has in her life, which is terrifying. That’s the reddest flag of all.

Now that we’re down to only a few girls I have to say, these are some attractive women. Not in a fake surgery lip injection kind of way either. They all know how to apply makeup and dress somewhat fashionable.

You know Maria is my favorite, and her date with Vinny is awkward. I know this because they’ve said the word awkward to each other a minimum of 4,300 times (this episode). Vinny is worried there’s a wall up because Maria didn’t say she wants to marry him tomorrow.

Elle is up and she gets 2 consecutive dates with each guy. Lucky bitch. It’s been pretty obvious all along but it appears Elle is firmly team Vinny. I don’t know how we wound up at the end of this and more girls are on Vinny’s side than Pauly’s, but here we are. Elle is heartbroken to tell Pauly she’s picking Vinny, and he could care less. He invites her to his 3 upcoming shows in Philly and that sounds like a good deal to me.

We just went 8 episodes without one, but the boys are finally getting a haircut! Time to pull up the pictures on the iPad so they can remember what they look like. After all, they’ve only known each other for like 3 1/2 weeks.

I have no idea what’s about to happen at this point. The other cab ceremony’s it’s been very clear whose cab is heah. Derynn is the first safe and she was my only guess who might be going. I’m lost. Alysse is staying, and so is Nikki. We’re down to Elle and Maria and Mrs. Perfect Boobs is going home. I’m so mad. This all but guarantees a season 2 though, so congrats.

@aliweitz

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