In Case You Missed It, I’m A Warlock Now

Yeah so, I’m a warlock now. Pretty sweet.

Going into last night’s game the Phillies were winless through their last 5 games and only averaging 2.2 runs a game during that stretch. It’s been brutal baseball to watch. The pitching all year has been suspect and most likely will be all season. The offense is what needsΒ  to stay hot for Philly to be successful.

So during this slump I thought to myself last night, it’s time to take matters into my own hands.

Literally one minute after sending that tweet and summoning the baseball under lords, Jay Bruce went bananas.

My goodness. 3-4 with a double, two dingers and six RBIs. I can feel the power coursing through my body. At any moment I can light things on fire via a well crafted social media post. I might mess around today and tweet out Jake Arrieta is going to throw a no hitter. Now I’m new to the dark side, so I don’t want shake the balance of power in the universe. I’m going to ease my way into this. Really learn and master my craft. Maybe start with something easy like a Mets embarrassing loss in the bottom of the ninth. Then graduate into bigger and better things. Sprinkle in a Braves timely error here and there.


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