Bill Belichick made an extremely bold statement this morning on Boston sports radio.
Bill Belichick: Tom Brady would play goalie if he played lacrosse https://t.co/KKZL68U5sR
— WEEI (@WEEI) June 3, 2019
Hold on real quick. I need a minute.
Okay, I’m back. Now that I’ve caught my breath and gathered my thoughts, please lend me your ear for a brief moment.
This is absolutely absurd. Belichick used to have a ton of street cred when it came to lacrosse. The only sliver of admiration I had for that cheating bag of dicks was the fact that he was a huge lacrosse fan. Now that’s all wrecked.
I need you to understand that I was one of the best goalies in all of Division 3 lacrosse about a decade ago, so I understand what it takes to be an elite level keeper. It takes a true man’s man to sacrifice your body for your team. Tom Brady is the opposite of a man’s man. In fact, Tom blatantly goes out of his way to not sacrifice his body for his team. If you breathe on him the wrong way during a game, he cries to the official like you just raped his puppy. Dude takes more dives than Neymar.
Tom Brady is soft. He doesn’t have the stones to step in the cage. He may be taller than me, better looking than me, and probably the best quarterback to ever play the game. BUT, I am hands-down much tougher than him. Could you imagine Tom eating a lacrosse ball off the thigh at 97mph? We’d hear about it for weeks while he worked with his “alternative personal trainer / doctor” to repair the soft tissue damage.
Fuck outta here, Bill. Your lax cred is gone. We don’t want you anymore, and we sure as shit don’t want Brady in net.