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How “Actually Excited” Are We For Toy Story 4…?

Joey Boats

So it’s Thursday and there was a lot buzzing in the world of cinema yesterday. Quentin Tarantino dropped the trailer for his much anticipated “Once Upon A Time In Hollywood,” which I guess is loosely based around the Sharon Tate murder in the late 1960s (if you’re unfamiliar with all that, it’s pretty brutal).

Not to be outdone, Pixar released their “second” Toy Story 4 trailer. If we’re being objective, this is probably the 4th or 5th promotional clip I’ve seen in the past couple months but whatever. What did surprise me, however, was the release date at the end of the trailer: June 21st…

When I saw that, I did one of those “Wait, that’s this month?” things you always do whenever your mom or girlfriend brings up their birthday.

For the record, I’m a gigantic Toy Story guy. When it’s all said and done, you’d have a tough time arguing that a better cinematic trilogy exists. Since everyone cares, I’ll be ranking the Toy Story movies from best to worst (but still incredible) as we move closer to the release date but the intent of this blog is to guage where we are in terms of anticipation.

I mean, did anyone really ask for a fourth Toy Story? I’m never the person who says things like “Ohhh they’re going to ruin it” because that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard but I don’t know man, I just don’t know why this is necessary.

I would go as far to suggest that roughly 90% of the general public was overly satisfied with how they wrapped everything up in the 3rd. And in a culture where every braindead asshole with Wifi access is looking for an opportunity to complain or admonish, that’s a pretty damn good clip. Take the money and run…

Not to mention, the film seems to REVOLVE around a new character, which is always a gigantic risk. In Toy Story 2, Pixar introduced Jessie and Bullseye—both of which were slam dunks. Those two fit like a glove but that sort of smooth transition into an ensemble cast is difficult to replicate, especially when it’s with this fucking Forky asshole (who’s actually a spork, but I’m sure there will be some referential humor about that in there).

Remember that scene in The Dark Knight where the Joker introduces himself to the table of thugs? The one with the pencil trick? Well, Heath Ledger has that quote where he goes “I know the squealers when I see them… and” while pointing to the Asian dude on the television.

This situation feels the same. Like, “I know the movie ruiners when I see them, and… *point to that spork*”

I hope I’m wrong, but this fork could be the second coming of Jar Jar Binks and that would be devastating—just one of those Rome, meet Nero type situations.

As I said, it will never “ruin” the orginal trilogy for me but I can’t help feeling like this could be another Disney cash grab, which is why my overall hype had been a tad subdued. I’ll still see it opening night because I’m a child though…

– Joey Boats (@joey_boats)

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