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As A Passenger, Do You Split A Speeding Ticket…?

Joey Boats

Okay, so it’s Tuesday and I wrote arguably the strangest blog of all time yesterday, which concerned me having passionate sex with a restaurant chain pepperoni calzone. Today, however, I’m dipping back into the mainstream waters a bit.

Over the weekend, a buddy and I crushed the PGA Championship at Bethpage Black on Long Island, New York. I’ll probably have a writeup on the entire “attending a PGA event” narrative later in the week, but I have bigger fish to fry right now.

As you may know, I’m a big social etiquette guy. As Branded’s self asserted, resident nuerotic dickhead, it’s the little things that bother me. I make mountains out of ant hills. If some woman rear ends/totals my car and yells at me for stopping short, I take her emotions into account; if she struts out of her wood panel PT Cruiser clamoring about her “Baby on Board” bumper sticker, I hope she gets lead poisoning.

So yeah, I’m sort of a psycho… sort of.

Anyway, my etiquette-based question today concerns traffick tickets; in particular, what role the passenger(s) play in paying for them…

Now, understandably, this isn’t a black and white rule. I don’t want to paint with a broad brush here because situations/relationships/circumstances effect EVERYTHING in arguments like this. Therefore, I’ll just stick to my specific situation of SPEEDING—which I’m sure most have or will experience.

For context, I’ll list the following OBJECTIVE points of interest in bullet points for easier consumption:

  • My buddy initially got the tickets, but he got them for free (same as me so fuck him).
  • Bethpage Black was 3 hours away from where we embarked (in other words, this wasn’t a trip to the local dive bar).
  • We took my car.
  • There was an agreement in place where I would drive down, and my buddy would drive back (which he did).

Now, before I go any further, allow me to clarify that I will be paying the ticket ($200 FUCKING bucks btw) because I’m an upstanding member of society. One of the most critical leadership qualities of a quarterback is consuming the blame for the sake of the locker room so—considering I’m a D2 Intramural touchdown leader—that’s what I did. I’m not bragging, I’m just insinuating I’m a remarkable person.

The passenger, who will remain nameless, has refused to pay the tab, which is fine, however, I’m a man of principle. I’m not here to argue that, in a court of law, he should have to split the penalty; I’m here to argue that he should’ve at least offered, and I guess, insisted on paying the ticket. Why? Well, for a few reasons…

One, I took my car. I’m eating major mileage there, as well as taking the risk of potentially getting into an accident. If that happens, I’m sucking down those payments, as well as the all the stress involved.

Two, there was consent involved with the action I was penalized for. The entire drive up, we were both ranting about how we hate guys who fly on the highway. When I got pulled over for going 75 in a 50, we were BOTH shocked. Strictly speaking, if the passenger (Jim) had ONCE even indicated he felt I was going too fast during the commute, we wouldn’t be having this discussion.

Simply put, both of us had the same destination, as well as the same ambitions. If you ask me, we’re operating as a TEAM. And considering that’s the case, it’s all for one and one for all…

So there it is: Do you think, as a passenger involved in a traffic violation, you harbor any monetary responsibility?

Maybe I’m just an incredible person (facts), but I would’ve split it. I want input though…

– Joey Boats (@joey_boats)

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