When Drake dropped this thirst trap on Thursday night I had a lot of thoughts. First of all it’s a beautifully staged photo for Instagram. The background is gorgeous, and the weather looks perfect. Drake really shouldn’t give a fuck what he looks like with a $100 million dollar private plane flying him to some tropical locations with whatever girl he wants. But if he wants to take a long weekend out to Miami and come back with a faint 6 pack I’ll let him do it. What else is the money for?
Second thing that stood out in this photo was the sweat band. If Drake is trying to hide premature balding, he’s taking the LeBron James method and just embracing it as his signature look. The only problem is Drake does not play basketball professionally, so there really is no reason for him to be wearing a sweat band.
Thirdly, his shoes are untied. I feel like I’ve been seeing this more and more in pictures lately like it’s some sort of new style. You’re going to trip. Why aren’t his shoes tied if he’s wearing sneakers and what look like workout shorts? It got people talking enough to wonder if maybe Drake had gotten an ab transplant.
While these guys all seem to be actually just regular friends busting each others balls, I have to do my own due diligence and do the research. Here is a picture of Drake’s torso:
If I were someone that was going to get fake abs, a procedure that is not extremely common in this country, you probably wouldn’t want to make them too perfect because it’d be too obvious. You want people to think you worked hard for that shit…it has to look real. So on one hand it would be an excellent move for Drake getting ab surgery right before he puts a new album out but make it look like he’s just been in the gym for 2 years.
To be honest Drake’s the kind of guy that just always belongs in a tank top or jersey. A very typical arm guy with tattoos that just really shouldn’t be completely shirtless. Dr. Dre is a perfect example, and Drake should probably just start taking steroids at this point to get a huge chest and arms but always wear a tank top so no one has to see your abs.
After my thorough investigation, Drake’s abs are real. The rest of you are just haters.