Not that we needed a research study to prove it, but people think the Boston accent is sexy as fuck. We’re a weird bunch, guys. A company called Big 7 Travel released a list that’s definitely just a random Twitter survey and for some unknown reason decided to slight the City of Champions, yet again.
One of America’s most imitated and parodied accents, Boston almost comes out on top of the country’s sexiest accents. And yes, just like Mahhhhk Wahlberg, locals really do say “pahk yuh cahr in hahvuhd yahd”.
The Texas accent was named the sexiest accent in America and I can only think of one reason why.
I get it, when you guys imagine the Boston accent you think of it as some sort of enigma. You think of a young Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, Mark Whalberg in a wifebeater, Leonardo Dicaprio chain smoking in The Departed. If you’re not here every day you don’t get to see the true sexiness at the Dunkin Donuts drive thru. It’s not all “say hello to ya mutha faw me” and “head, bawdy, head, bawdy.” Believe it or not but there are parts of this lifestyle that aren’t so glamorous.
Accents are such a weird concept too. Imagine all your thoughts in an Australian accent? To people from Russia, someone like Anna Kendricks probably sounds like an alien. If you’re British everything you say sounds smarter or just more like an asshole. Does an Ireland accent play in Dubai? You aren’t even given a choice when you’re blessed with a thick accent, and you can’t really change it after like 10 years old.
Just slightly farther down the list we had Maine (4th), Connecticut (22nd) and Providence (38th). What the fuck is a Connecticut accent? Did people from Providence just mount a viral campaign to make this list and get their name out there? If you spent 10 minutes with someone born and raised in South Providence I’m not sure sexy would be the word that comes to mind unless you’re like, from Revere. If this is how voting for this competition is going, it makes me extra fucking nervous for an actual election. This country needs to take a step back and reevaluate our standards. What the fahk are we doing here?
But if we’re in the running for any sort of competition, Boston should at least always win. Being named the 2nd sexiest accent is the 1st worst accent if you think about it. We need to do better. When is Ted 3 coming out?