We Have To Talk About The Blind Side For A Minute


So this has been bothering me for about a decade now. The entire movie was ruined by this one scene. Michael is at practice and he’s having a tough go. Sandra Bullock comes in a saves the day. Helps Michael figure out the new sport by comparing it to protecting his family. Real heart warming moment. Unrealistic as all hell, but heartwarming none the less.

So where is my gripe? At the end the coach says “what did you tell him?” She responds with “You should get to know your players Bert (hilarious name fyi) Michael tested 98% in protective instincts.” Hold the fucking phone. I’ll give you the mom helping the kid understand football, fine. I’ll give you the Hollywood version of his family history and the NCAA audit and all that. But if you’re going to try and feed me some bullshit that high schools are testing kids for “protective instincts” I’m 100% out.

Just an insane line that they drop in there like it’s nothing. Like kids are taking their test in school and its:

What is the square root of 144?

Who was the 12th president?

Oh and let’s say you’re little brother is getting beat up, what do you do?

Like what are we talking about here? How is this not brought up every time someone mentions this movie. “What did you think of the Blind Side?” “Really great movie, thought the story was powerful. One problem, they pulled this ridiculous protective instinct thing out of their ass, when they could easily just said Mike is a good guy.”

I mean it. I think about this randomly all the time, shake my head and mumble to myself like Joe Peshi in Home Alone. Should I be this upset? Absolutely not. No reason a grown man should be bothered by such trivial nonsense. I just needed to get this off my chest.

My name is Joe and that was my Ted Talk.


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