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Only In Delco

Growing up in Delco you constantly hear these stories that make you say, “this shit only happens in Delco”. It’s kinda like the stories you hear come out of Florida Man but less bath salts and murder. I’ll be keeping this fellow anonymous but his story must be told. For the sake of the story we’re going to call him John.

John is a proud Delco dude born and raised on the streets of Upper Darby. Out of High School John joins the army for the career and structure. Back home he has a girlfriend but he wasn’t sure she was being the most faithful to him. They’d have fights about it with his girlfriend vehemently denying infidelity every single time. During this time she was also talking about getting pregnant and John, not sure if she was cheating on him or not, wanted to be clear that if a baby were to come that it would be his. So John got the Snip Snip. Yes. John optioned for a vasectomy and made sure that if there was a baby it wasn’t his. He wasn’t going to be trapped raising another man’s child or supporting such a child while he was away defending our freedoms. Sure enough a few months later she got pregnant and now John has all the proof he needed to make sure he wasn’t going to have to raise another man’s child financially or physically. So John kicked her out and she was devastated that she lost her money train and her free taxpayer backed health care.

John. Thanks for serving our country and next time you’re around Delco make it over to Barnaby’s Havertown and I or CEO Joe (Prolly CEO Joe he’s richer) buy you a beer.

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