Spoilers ahead but honestly what are you doing at 9pm on Sunday night not watching Game Of Thrones. If you work or something like that and didn’t see the episode exit out now.
So last night was the Battle of Winterfell. The most hyped up episode in the show’s and quite possibly TV history.
The #BattleOfWinterfell ❄️
• Took 55 days to film
• 750 people on scene
• Longest #GameofThrones episode ever (82 min)
• Longest battle sequence in film or TV history & longer than LotR's Battle of Helm's Deep
• Miguel Sapochnik directing (Hardhome, Battle of the Bastards) pic.twitter.com/1eBPECtyFJ
— GoT Facts & News (@DexertoCitadel) April 28, 2019
All weekend I couldn’t wait until Sunday night. Just wishing away my weekend. Last episode we had what appeared to be our final goodbyes to our favorite characters. Brienne was knighted, Tyrion was back to his wine loving self and even Tormund had his comic relief milk moment. It was a perfect farewell to some of the most beloved members of the GoT cast. The dead army is coming, they are going to rip Winterfell apart and the fans needed this before that.
Well they came and they fucking dominated for 81.5 of the 82 total minutes this episode. The Dothrakis, some of the baddest dudes on the planet were given enhanced fire swords to start the episode. The entire squad rode hot and heavy right at the Night King and were taken out in 12 seconds flat. Which brings me to my first issue with this episode. Why would you just send the Dothraki out there basically as sacrificial lambs?
What type of battle strategy is that shit? Also it needs to be said, Jon Snow might be the worst battle general in the history of battles. So that’s my first gripe with the episode. My second is no one important died. Not a single one.
Yes Lyanna’s death was both awesome and sad. She might be the baddest bitch to ever walk the dirt roads of Winterfell but besides that and Theon’s death but everyone knew that was coming, nothing. Jaime survived near impossible odds, Sam is most definitely going to be alive, even my wife turned to me at one point and sad “How is he not dead yet?” I’m not sure dear, I’m just no sure. Brienne was being damn near eaten alive and she lived. Just completely unbelievable.
But the one that pissed me off to no end was Jon Snow. Jon tries to creep up on the Night King which once again is a stupid plan. You’re not just going to sneak up on the king of the dead like you’re playing fucking freeze tag in elementary school. So obviously the NK hears he and he brings back an entire army of dead that have Jon surrounded. I mean thousands of dead dudes looking to murder, against one asshole. And what does the dead army do? Fight him one v one. WTF!!! Just pounce on Snow and he’s dead in half a second.
This is where the ‘good guys always win’ writing is starting to real grind my ball sack. GoT shouldn’t have a happy ending. It shouldn’t be rainbows and butterflys with Jon and Dany on the throne together, Tyrion as the hand, Jaime as the head of the king’s guard and everyone lives happy ever after. That’s where it feels like the show is going and it’s totally unacceptable.
So Jon lives. Whatever. Highly improbable but he’s the main character so he gets to have a few of these. But the last issue with this episode and really the biggest issue with the show in general is how it ended last night. In short, the NK went out like a bitch. Arya jumps from the foul line like MJ and just stabs him in the belly. GTFOH
Listen I love Arya. She is easily my second favorite Stark behind Rob (RIP) but come on. The NK has been hyped up for 9 years. Put it this way, when we first heard about the NK I never even met my wife. We now have a house and a new fat roommate. That’s how long the NK has been on my mind and you’re just going to kill him like that?
First off, how does she get through all of that? The place was surrounded and he had his top goons with him. How does she just sneak through all that completely undetected? Impossible. Secondly what was the point of the white walkers, the night king and winter is coming? The entire story line didn’t matter because we were given no explanation and I can’t reiterate this enough. My dude went out like a BITCH!!! #JusticeForTheNightKing.
Just no way he wouldn’t stop a teenage girl with a glorified butter knife when the future of humanity is on the line. I’m still upset about the entire thing with no sign of getting over it any time soon.
I will reevaluate next week but the entire show might be ruined for me. I know it’s a strong take but I’m hurt, scared and don’t know where to turn.