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Jay Cutler Unclogged Kristin Cavallaris Milk Ducts By ‘Sucking Harder Than He’s Ever Sucked Before’

Nick Ru

“Reading the headline pretty much gives all the information to which I am privy, but the manual siphoning of blocked milk ducts is a thing that happened in the Cavallari/Cutler household.

For those who weren’t aware, Kristin Cavallari, former star of The Hills, has another reality show on the E! network that seems to center around Southern yelling. In a recent promo for an upcoming episode, Cavallari tells her dinner companions that she had “Major clogged ducts. Jay had to get them out for me, sucking harder than he’s ever sucked.”

A boozy dinner with friends, where people are ready to be entertained and also a tiny bit drunk, is the best possible place share a story like this. Furthermore, having experienced the events of this tale without using them to make a friend gape would just be suffering in vain. And finally, it’s kind of sweet to not only trust a partner to perform a task like this, but also to see him so unfazed by the act that he continues casually drinking a margarita during the event’s retelling. Or is clearing a partner’s milk ducts a common parental act of which I, a childless thornback, am simply unaware?” –Jezebel

I don’t really have much to say on this.  Pretty funny story with endless jokes to make.

“Oh can’t imagine Jay sucking any more”

“Jay Cutler the body builder?”

“What else is Jay sucking on?”

Just some good clean jokes to make about something that can happen in a household with a new baby.  I personally haven’t had to do this since the birth of my child but I’m sure other partners have.  The thing I’m really curious about is the site Jezebel.  What’s their deal?  Why come off so hateful and angry over this story?  It’s not that serious to get mad and nearly angry over something like this.  Maybe I read the tone of their article wrong but, jesus lighten up sweetheart.

I’m sure saying lighten up sweetheart will be taken a sexist and serious and not the joke it was intended to be.  I’m sure that in turn will be changed to “You think sexism is a joke?”  by someone else.  It’s hard to live in these PC times folks.

 

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