So Murt, well Murt’s sister actually, brought to light the passionate Reddit community dedicated to shower oranges. Literally just eating an orange in the shower. I always feel like Reddit is an inside joke that I’m not in on so I admit the whole time I participated in the shower orange thing I thought I was being set up for some big Truman Show joke. But at worst case scenario I mix in another serving of fruit to my diet, which definitely isn’t a bad thing for me.
I prepared by smoking a bunch of weed and getting in the shower. Something I do every single other night. I should preface this with the fact that peeling oranges is on my top 5 list of things I do not have time for. I hate peeling oranges. I can’t use my computer/phone while peeling an orange and I always get orange juice all over my trackpad. I smell like orange all day and my nails turn orange. It sucks. Oranges are good though, it’s the peeling that I don’t like.
I was told to peel the orange in the shower and eat it. There are no other rules and regulations except to eat the orange in the shower and share your experience. It was kind of cool that while peeling the orange in the shower, my hands didn’t get sticky. The problem is I kept dropping little pieces in the shower so now I’ll probably slip and break my neck the next time I take a shower.
Once I finally peeled all of the stupid skin off without breaking any nails, I took a bite of the orange. And then something happened.
Absolutely nothing happened. I mean it was a tasty orange and all but I hadn’t eaten dinner yet, and I didn’t want to make myself too full. I hate half the orange and stopped, went about my regular business and then forgot about the rest of the orange. As I was getting out I looked over like oh shit I forgot I was doing that orange thing.
I didn’t feel like my life changed, or that it was an out of body experience. I could have really used a pick me up in my life right now. I was counting on this shower orange to replace years of intensive therapy, and I was let down.
Now I am high wondering when I will find out I’m on a hidden camera show that just watched me peel and eat an orange in the shower, right before dinner time. Internet, 1 Ali, 0