The Phillies Bullpen Isn’t the Problem

Listen, I’m the biggest proponent for Gabe Kapler. I love his attitude and he’s come a long fucking way from last year. But for the love of god Gabe, solidify this goddamn bullpen.

To spite Gabe, I’m making all my takes in this blog based on the eye test and including no statistics/analytics.

I may be in the minority here but I like the guys in the pen. People saying they want Kimbrel are just wrong. What the Phillies need isn’t a closer who’s gonna be guaranteed for 5 years, what they need is some goddamn consistency. The way Kapler has been running this bullpen is like having two solid quarterbacks and switching them after every first down. There’s no way anyone can prepare for the game and know what spot they’re supposed to come in at/get comfortable at all. I’d personally love to see Seranthony be the go to closer. Partially because I think his stuff is great (got out of that inning yesterday with like 2 pitches give or take) and partially because his name is fucking awesome. How can you be opposed to a guy named Seranthony coming into the 9th every game to shut shit down?!

I was gonna just shit on this game immediately after, but I’ve slept on it, calmed myself down a little and reminded myself we’re only 10 games into a 5,000 game season (and still in first place btw). So lets stay positive and go over the biggest takeaways from last night.

First of all, Nola looked like the ace we expected, Gabe just kept him in an inning too long. Can’t let him keep going this early in the season when he hasn’t found his stride yet, but then again I guess I’ll take this aggressive version of Kapler over the ‘pull Nola 60 pitches deep on opening day’ Kapler.

Also, what an upgrade this defense is. Everyone knows last years defense stunk, but this new team makes last years guys look like we fielded a team of little leaguers (ignore Franco’s E5 that turned into a 2 run home run. Guy can do no wrong in my eyes, and maybe Hoskins should’ve stretched a little more to make that catch).

But, the biggest takeaway, this lineup is still fucking unreal. It’s early, I know, but day in and day out, it never ceases to amaze me how scary this lineup is top to bottom.

Bryce Harper continues to single handedly destroy the Nationals franchise. It’s a good thing there aren’t any Nats fans because they would be so embarrassed right now if they had to watch Harper own his old team. Absolute piss missile from Harper (4th) . [I drafted this while the Phillies were up 6-2 so it definitely sounded better then, but fuck it Harper still owns this poor excuse for a franchise. A few more series and they may be forced to move back to Montreal]

Can’t forget the moonshot from the undisputed NL MVP, Maikel Franco (4th) . People are stopping me on the street, in work, at the gym, asking “Colby, what’s the physical condition of Maikel Franco?” Well folks, I can confirm he is in the best shape of his life

Phils look to stay undefeated in series tonight with the work horse, Nick Pivetta going against some minor leaguer, Jeremy Hellickson. I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone, including Pivetta, took Hellickson yard tonight.

Go Phils!

P.S. Dr. Catfish Charles and I are now best friends after a brief dispute late last afternoon ~stepbrothersBestFriends.gif~ It’s beautiful what Maik can do on and off the field!

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