Hello Branded Sports fam welcome to something new I am doing a weekly blog on to go along with the “Ru How To” series. This one will be different however and will be stories from my life, stories that are true and shocking. Many who know me know I have lived a long and weird life in my almost 28 years on this earth. I have stories about everything, will I add in some fiction to spice up the blog, of course I will, you never let the truth get in the way of a good story. One thing I promise is they all come from thing’s that really happened. So sit back throw another log on the flames and get a cup of coco with the tiny little marshmallows. Let me take you away and enjoy this week’s fire side chat with Ru.
It was the Summer of 2013. I was working my part-time job as a sales associate at GNC. I was in great shape a young Marlon Brando with a Sly Stallone body, Rocky 2 with the arms of Rocky 3. I enjoyed my little job I would see beautiful women all day and lie to them about owning 6 different stores so they would think I was rich. In reality I was poor and was lucky to have $350 in my bank account, they didn’t know that though. I had some nibbles here and there. Women would give their phone number every now and then but I never really had much happen from it. A date here and there, one girl who 10 minutes into a date at Brio told me that she had 2 abortions and just got out of rehab, that my children is a story for another day. It was June and I was really hoping things would pick up for me with the women. Seemingly out of nowhere on one June afternoon a woman would walk in and just like that, my world, my life, my innocence would all change.
It was a nice afternoon, perfect 70 and sunny as I recall, birds were chirping the sun was shining and I had a perfect bronze sun tan going on. I looked beautiful as the light would bounce off of my biceps like an ultra high-powered NASA microscope. In walked an older woman, mid 40’s blonde, a larger chest, perfectly fake I was sure. She walked right up to me with a smile and a welcoming attitude. I introduced myself and she smiled, I asked her if she needed help and she started asking questions. There was an undeniable chemistry between us. She looked me right in the eyes, she never broke eye contact like a cougar hunting prey. I knew this was going to be an easy kill every time she brushed up on my perfectly toned and tanned arms like a lady of the night looking for an extra tip. Then the worst thing that could happen to a man who couldn’t miss. My boss walked in and decided he wanted to take over and answer all the questions for the pretty lady. I had been cock blocked, I was never going to get in her 1950’s pantaloons. The woman walked out of the store and seemed to have walked out of my life. I would never see her again, Then two weeks went by and a call came through to the store.
“Hello is Nick there?”
“Yes this is him”
“Hi Nick I was in a couple of weeks ago and was wondering if you would be able to train me? I would pay you on the side, does that work?”
“Yes of course, I’ll take your number down and we’ll start this Monday?”
I had no idea who I agreed to train. None what-so-ever. I just knew it was a woman and she was going to pay me. Monday morning we arrived at my local gym on a cloudy morning. I was surprised to see the blonde little minx who couldn’t keep her paws off of my toned and tanned biceps. We walked in and we worked out, nothing exciting but she talked about her husband a lot. I lost my interest in her the second she brought him up. I wanted to get the job done, get paid and get out. We walked out to the parking lot, she paid me and we left. I walk back into the gym to finish my workout when a text comes through to my phone.
“Hey I forgot to tip you.”
I responded “Oh no tip needed, government can’t tax this.” I was real quick on my feet back then.
She said, “No here is your tip.” Moments went by I felt my phone vibrate I looked down and a picture of this 5’3, 48-year-old married blonde woman was fully nude on my phone. I gasped. What do I say back? Again as a man who was pretty quick on my feet I said,
She asked me If I liked it and I said very much so. We exchanged a few little flirty texts and she told me she was super sore from a great workout and needed a massage. I told her I charge extra but if she gives me her address I’ll be right over. Without missing a heartbeat she really sent me her address told me the back door was open (On the house and on her ass) I got in my car and I headed on over, I hit every red light possible as my mind was racing, “Hurry my husband will be home in an hour” she texted me. I didn’t even stop to think if I was a bad person for this, quite frankly I didn’t care. I walked in the back door and we did it all over the house, and of course we lost track of time.
We were laying there, naked out of breath in her bed. I was thinking of how I can get my friends to believe this happened, I have pictures and texts to prove it but this story, this story is just way to crazy to believe. Moments later, she got up put on her robe opened the door and said “Matt… Matt?”
Her husband was home. My heart stopped. I jumped up put on my clothes and started to panic. I looked outside, he had parked behind my car, MORON! Why didn’t I park down the street. I knew what was going to happen, I was going to fight for my life. This guy was either going to kill me or I was going to kill him. One man would walk away, I figured how big can he be, his wife need’s a guy 26 years younger than herself, I got this! I walked into the kitchen and saw him standing there. Not very tall but the size of refrigerator. My adrenaline kicked in and I walked towards him, screaming in my head, “Let’s go! You got this! Let’s go.” I got closer, my heart beating out of my chest. He sat down on his barstool and said,
“Did you enjoy that?”
I looked at him confused and he went to shake my hand, “Names Matt, hope that was fun she’s a wild one.” I didn’t know what to do, so I shook his hand. She walked me out, said she would move his car. Gave me a kiss goodbye and told me to come back on Wednesday but she didn’t feel like working out. My mouth had been wide open for 10 minutes now as I drove home, didn’t know what to do. This began my Summer and the most terrifying experience of my life.
Weeks turned to months and I was coming over every Monday, Wednesday and Friday to bang this guys wife and get paid for it. Soon things got weird. I would miss a day here and there and get threatening texts.
“Where are you!?”
“Not good enough anymore?!”
“Not paying you to not show, get here!”
I was young and dumb so I kept going back despite these texts. One morning I showed up and she said she had never given me a tour of the house. I didn’t really need to see it but I said ok fine. She showed me into their back room with a safe. She opened the safe and showed me 2 revolvers with a ton of ammunition. It still gives me goosebumps as she grabbed me by the arm and said,
“We don’t like being fucked with.”
Was she saying they’ll kill me if I don’t show? If I’m not good enough? I didn’t know what it meant but next thing I knew, she was naked and I a 22-year-old man could not resist. I kept going back and one week, I stopped, the texts started again and then a demanding text came through.
“tomorrow I want you in the shower by the time I get home from dropping my daughter off, no later than 9:30, make yourself available, don’t let me down.”
I knew I shouldn’t go but they had a pretty awesome shower. It was like a big sauna and was surrounded by rocks as the walls, like an outdoor shower on the beach. It has water come from above and the sides, quite honestly I still miss that shower and because of that shower, I couldn’t help but go and make sure I was there.
By the time she arrived home I was in the shower, She walked in and we were in there for quite sometime. This is where my nightmare started. I earned my money that morning. It was almost 1pm and I was still there. In between the shower and the bedroom. I don’t know if it was the fear of death or the young boy yearning for a womans love that kept me going but I was a machine that day. Jeter in his prime would feel incompetent if he saw my game tape. We laid in bed and I told her I had to be going. I had been there for hours and was done, I got dressed and she just laid there smiling. Something seemed up, she didn’t say a word just looked me dead in the eye like she was dead inside. I went to open the door and the handle was stuck. I did it again and nothing happened. Again, and again and it wouldn’t budge. I uncomfortably laughed and said
“Your door is stuck”
She smiled like the Grinch and looked at me and said “It will open when I’m done with you.”
My heart dropped, what was going to happen to me? The adrenaline kicked in like it did the first night, was this my end? Is this how I would die? I mean, not the worst way to be murdered, my friends would have a cool story to tell about my death for the rest of their lives.
So I did what any man in my situation would do. I went back to work, put my hard hat on, put my gloves on and started chopping wood. The fear drove me to incredible feats of strength. It was 3 o’clock and I was hungry, I was thirsty and much like a pitcher in the 8th inning, my fastball was gone. The ol’ arm was feeling like a wet noodle if you know what I mean. (Talking about my dick)
She said she was hungry, she wanted food and texted her husband to order pizza. It was close to 4pm by the time Pizza got there and I made a plan in my head.
First thing I am going to do is eat some pizza. I was starving and no way was I going to turn down some free slices. After that, I was going to rest for a little bit because you can’t just go fight your way out of hell after eating 5 or 6 slices, that would be really dangerous and I could upset my tummy. Her husband opened the door I had my keys in my pocket and I figured it was time to make a life or death decision, run and maybe fight for my life and possibly starve because I didn’t eat all day, or eat and rest up and save my energy to fight later. I did what any person would do in that situation, I ate pizza. I figured any moment now, her daughter will be dropped off by a friends mom after a day at camp and that’s when I can make my escape. Well her daughter was staying at friend’s house for a sleep over, these sicko’s had planned this all week. 7pm rolled around and my opportunity had shown itself.
Old people need to nap at some point. We were sitting on the couch watching TV and they both dozed off. YES! It’s time to escape I said to myself. I got up off of the couch like Indiana Jones. I walked over to the door, I turned it ever so slowly knowing the slightest sound could result in my death and or more chaffing on my legs. I turned that sucker with every move looking over at my captors. I got it open. Freedom was here!!! I’m free and I heard it..
I looked over and she was up, my heart started pounding I ran out that door and jumped into my car, pulled out of the driveway like I should have done to her months ago. I just saw her in the doorway looking at me with anger. I didn’t care I was free, of course I got many texts that night that I ignored, blocked her number asked to have my GNC location moved and was finally free*, the nightmare of the kidnapping swingers was over. I went about my life and enjoyed it like any normal 22-year-old would.
*Until another month went by and I wasn’t having regular sex so I got her number unblocked and hit her up for a one time thing, but I promise it was only a one time thing.
Thank you for enjoying the first edition of Fireside Chat With Ru, have a blessed day.
Let me wobble back to my corner, Joe Pa knew.