The Hats For This Years NFL Draft Are Something

One of the greatest moments of any legendary NFL player’s life will be that picture on stage wearing the hat of the team that drafted you holding your jersey, fake posing with that statue Roger Goodell.

It’s the 100th year of the NFL so New Era wanted to create somethin real special and unique for each team. I can’t tell if they are just trying to troll these guys, watching a 300 pound offensive lineman put on that Indianapolis helmet is going to be a sight to see.

Some of these hats are tolerable, some are very on brand, and apparently the Jets didn’t have time to finalize theirs. Let’s break it down.

The teams that truly could not be bothered:

Dallas Cowboys, Houston Texans, Chicago Bears, Green Bay Packers, New Orleans Saints, New York Jets

Just zero-minimal effort given for these hats. Texas has arguably one of the only recognizable state flags so both Texas teams we’re just like the Spiderman meme designing theirs. Wouldn’t expect anything that fashion forward to come out of Texas, so not surprised.

The Saints hat is just such a cop out. They have some of the coolest colors in the NFL and need to be taking more advantage of it. Still busy complaining about the missed pass interference call I guess.

The Jets literally don’t have a design. Too focused on the draft I’m sure.

The teams that said “well, let’s just add some stars and call it a day”:

Minnesota Vikings, Chicago Bears (again), Tennessee Titans, Atlanta Falcons, Cleveland Browns, Washington Redskins, Detroit Lions, Buffalo Bills, San Francisco 49ers

This is a big group. Since these are based on the flags of the city, I guess it’s a big trend for flag designers to throw a couple stars in there. I know we started with the American flag, someone watched how well the stars worked for that and just started moving state to state.

The Lions design looks like if Matt Stafford were a hat. What people think might look cool, good from afar but absolutely forgettable when compared to the rest.

The person wearing that Atlanta Falcons hat definitely wears a wifebeater.

The teams that are still keeping Monster energy in business:

Kansas City Chiefs, Carolina Panthers, Jacksonville Jaguars, Philadelphia Eagles, Miami Dolphins

If I encountered a guy wearing any one of these hats I would press the lock button on my car a few times for good measure. Responsible for 60% of the country’s hard alcohol consumption and this is their hangover hat.

Guarantee the Philly hat is spotted more times in New Jersey than in the actual city of Philadelphia.

The person designing the Panthers hat was clearly going through something or losing their vision.

The Jags hat will be worn by every 12 year old skateboarder in the Jacksonville area. Don’t leave your girl around the Jags hat guy.

The teams that are sure to scare your daughter’s new boyfriend:

Pittsburgh Steelers, Baltimore Ravens

No love lost between these two teams and I wouldn’t be surprised to see a cell phone crowd fight between two former high school athletes wearing these hats.

The Pittsburgh Steelers hat is the official hat of all car wash employees and also all grumpy 50 year old dads whose daughter just graduated from college and are bringing their first boyfriend home. Definitely a big fall on the couch with a Budweiser in hand kinda guy. The type of hat that stands the test of time.

The teams that designed a cool women’s hat:

LA Rams, LA Chargers, Cincinnati Bengals, New York Giants, Denver Broncos.

Obviously both LA teams nailed the hat design for women and men that wear women’s jeans.

The Giants have a cute little crown on their design and if their logo didn’t make me want to projectile vomit I might actually like this hat.

The teams that snazzed up the brim:

Minnesota Vikings, Tampa Bay Bucs, Buffalo Bills, LA Rams, Philadelphia Eagles, Tennessee Titans

This is the type of creativity that the NFL needs more of. Oft-ignored, these teams decided to spruce up the neglected brims and think a little bit outside the box. Bravo.


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