Bryce Harper Emasculated An Entire Fan Base Last Night

First and foremost, I spelled emasculated correct first shot. No big deal or anything.

Anyway, as the entire world knows, last night was Bryce Harper’s return to D.C. The place he called home for 7 seasons. A place, mind you, where he took a no-name bag of losers and forced them into relevance. So how do these high class fans greet the man? To a chorus of boos and adults dressed as clowns.

Nice, you sure showed him.

After Harper went up to bat twice last night and walked back to the dugout, both times being punched out by Max Scherzer, the Nationals fans started to really feel themselves. The “Traitor Boys” were slugging their 8th Bud Light of the night, the Nats were losing, but who cares?  Harper can’t even sniff a base hit.

That was until his third, fourth, and fifth at bat. What started as an 0-2 with two K’s night, ends one triple away from the cycle. In the fifth inning, Bryce doubled off Scherzer, and in the sixth he drove in an RBI single. He gave big time cocky waves to the dugout both times and greeted the Phillies fans in right field that made the trek down to D.C.

Those Phillies fans were all that remained in the stadium after the sixth inning. You could hear them through the TV chanting “M-V-P” and “We got Harper.” Just cold-blooded on your division rivals home field.

Then came the big payoff in the eighth. Harper came up to the plate and drove an absolute bomb into the next solar system. It was a heart breaker to any Nats fans remaining, and the bat flip that followed was the dagger that my have ended the entire franchise.

It’s hilarious to me – if Philly fans behaved the same way, ESPN and the rest of the national dopes would be crushing us. Washington gets away with it because 1. everyone that’s not Philly gets away with it and 2. no one cares about Washington. The Wizards never win anything ever, the Nats always blow it, Redskins are a laughing stock and the Caps finally won a cup after being the best team in the regular season for roughly 200 years in a row.

Before the Harper deal I would have told you Minnesota was the biggest group of whinny sports fans in America.  But D.C. is coming for that ass. Bryce has been nothing but respectful to the fans, his old team, and the city. He poured his heart out with this IG post prior to the game and this soulless city couldn’t care less.

If the fans want to be mad at someone, be mad at your front office. Try telling someone to walk away from $100 million just to play in a city that breeds losing. I hope that bat flip haunts you all until the day you die. From yesterday until Harper hangs it up, Philadelphia now owns a baseball team in Washington.

PS. At roughly 1:12 pm, Harper will wear a fastball. The fans will cheer and think they really taught him a lesson. Then about an inning and a half later Bryce is going to send another ball into orbit. Enjoy your little moment in the sun you herbs.

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