We Are All The Costco Dad

A lot of the viral videos on the internet these days are usually bad and not good. They’re highly entertaining, but usually either involve violence or someone getting embarrassed. For instance, I just watched this video going viral of a group of guys on spring break getting robbed at gun point at a gas station. They fight off the gunman, steal his gun, get jumped by another guy, all while their one friend stands there and watches the entire time. Violent and embarrassing.

But this dad going discovering the beauty and joy of Costco? This is pure viral entertainment:

I felt this video on a spiritual level. We’ve all been in this position and experienced the elation that comes with shopping at Costco for the very first time.

You never forget the feeling of losing your Costco virginity. That enlightening moment when you realize not only can you buy enormous amounts of food there, they will give you unlimited samples of that food as well. A nice old white lady making $14/hour in retirement wearing a hair net rambles on about product info while she hands you your third sample of steamed chicken dumplings. You circle back for some morsel sized cheesecake and then get a bit of bruschetta as you’ve made your way past the freezer section. On your way out you grab a $2 churro at the snack bar because you deserve this…and you just bought a 10 pound bag of carrots. 

There’s an episode of Modern Family about this topic, where Mitchell goes to Costco for the first time. He goes wild, he’s so excited and Cam, who’s a Costco pro, basically just carries an “I told you so” expression the whole time. You may think that was made for Hollywood but no, that is real life. That dad is living proof of the Costco effect. Those sausages he got for like 8 bucks, that’s not a lie, I think I got those same sausages at one point. 

It’s nice to see a guy provide for his family in bulk at an affordable rate. Also means there’s one more person who’s going to be banging on the Costco doors when a zombie apocalypse begins. 

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