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Today In Weird News: Man Arrested At Border When Police Caught Him Having Sex With A Cow

Nick Ru

“A man has been charged with bestiality after he was caught having sex with a cow, according to reports.

Jose Nino, 29, a Mexican national, was arrested near the Hidalgo and Starr county line on Friday, March 15.

According to police, a few US Border Patrol agents witnessed a man “having sex with a cow”.

Officers from the Starr County Sheriff’s Office responded to a call from the agents and launched an investigation, which later identified Nino as the suspect, reported Valley Central.” –UK Mirror

Well this is the kind of news that defines today in weird news.  I have so many questions and so many things that need to be answered.  Usually I ask questions and move on with my day but in this case I am going to ask questions and try to find answers.  There is no way on earth it is easy to have sex with a cow right?  The dimensions of it aren’t normal.  Cow’s have their ass like 6 feet in the air don’t they?  He would have had to get on a ladder or something to bang this cow.  Is it possible the cow was on her back?  Or did he go cow tipping and think, that’s the cow I want.

I have another question.  How long until the hard-core MAGA people turn this into some kind of build the wall thing?  I don’t care about politics or anything but I’m curious.  I am always here for the lunatics that want to build the wall because a guy fucked a cow.  Anyway, how is the cow doing?  Is the cow okay?  Is she pregnant?  Is the cow even a woman?  Do cows identify genders? Good questions we should be asking.

Well I hope Jose Nino thought it was worth it because where he’s going he’s going to meet a lot of Bulls.  Talking big black guys folks.  They will treat him like a little cow once they find out he’s a cow fucker.  You never want to go to jail and be known as the cow fucker.

P.S. When I read this I half expected this to be a joke that the police thought it was a cow but it was just a huge fat woman in a white shirt

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