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Today In Weird News: Young Man Discovers His Girlfriend Uses His Socks To Wipe Her Butt After Pooping (Not The Kent State Gun Girl)

“The unnamed man, 28, revealed all in a post on Reddit’s Relationship Advice forum.

He begins by saying that he and his 26-year-old girlfriend hadn’t been together very long, but their relationship had gotten serious pretty fast and they recently moved in together.

Since moving in, she’s taken ownership of the laundry and doesn’t ever let him help. At first he thought it was “sweet” that she wanted to do it all, however he now knows there was a very different reason for her doing the household chore.

While taking out the bin, the man claims to have discovered a pair of his socks in a bag, covered in what “looked like poop”. –Mirror UK

I know what everyone is thinking.  This is very gross, there is nothing I can say or do to defend this woman.  She has been using her boyfriends socks to wipe her butt.  She is taking his property and quite literally shitting all over it.  How can I defend her? Well, I’ll tell you.

There is a quote in this article that is very important.

“She admitted she has done this for a long time. Her reasoning, as best I can understand, is that because she is a germaphobe (her word) she is afraid toilet paper will tear and is afraid of getting her hands messy in any way.”

He added: “She uses socks because it covers her entire hand. After she’s done with them she throws them away. She used mine because she didn’t have any other socks.”

Now let’s think about this for a second.  It is really gross for the toilet paper to break in your booty and you get something on your finger or hand.  It’s happened to all of us, that’s why I use baby wipes because it makes my butt feel nice and clean.  I also think it has possibly made my butt hole weak.  Regular toilet paper is like sandpaper to me and now I just walk around with a weak butt hole.  Back on topic.  Toilet paper isn’t always helpful.  What is helpful?  A sock!  Of course it’s so simple, and so easy.  You cover your entire hand with it, up to the elbow if you so wish.  Unless you have a hole in the sock your golden and clean.

This really is a case of one person doing things right and the rest of us doing things wrong.  There is even a term for it, coprophobia.  It is a fear of feces and I think 100% of the population has a small fear of poop.  There can’t be anyone who likes poop.  There may be one though.

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Should have used a sock gun girl.  Should have used a sock.

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Nick Ru View All

Let me wobble back to my corner, Joe Pa knew.

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