Turns out Bryce Harper isn’t perfect. FUCK! Knew this day would come but why so soon??!? Matt Breen broke the bad news today on Twitter.
Bryce Harper’s custom bat knobs pic.twitter.com/maWiIMbPaT
— Matt Breen (@matt_breen) March 15, 2019
Come on Bryce! You’re better than that. It’s not 2007 and even then the ill was played out. It was saved for dudes with calf tattoos and trucks with flags attached. There’s still time to fix this error.
First. Burn all the bats. Yes you could remove the paint but just to be safe throw those into a very big fire. Second, pick literally anything else. Your number, Phillies logo, maybe even just your favorite animal. Anything but “ill.”