Golden Tate Has the Easiest Decision Ever Deciding Between the Patriots and Steelers

It’s no secret that Bill Belichick has been online shopping for a new slot receiver from a boat in paradise. As wide receivers quickly are falling form the board the Patriots are getting to crunch time if they want to sign a guy in free agency.

Arguably the biggest remaining name that fits the desires of the great and wise Bill Belichick is Golden Tate who, in the last couple of days, has been narrowing down his options to the Patriots and Steelers.

I literally couldn’t think of an easier decision if you gave me an extra lifetime to do so. Golden Tate is going into his 32 year-old season and the clock is ticking fast on the time he has left in this league. He already has a ring, but he also whittled away his prime in the chaotic dumpster fire that is the Detroit Lions. You’re a buffoon if you think after he got a taste of sanity back in his life in Philadelphia he would go to one of the bigger train wrecks of the last 12 months in Pittsburgh. That’s without factoring in the part where Tate’s other option is the most dominant force this league has ever seen coming off their SIXTH Super Bowl.

It won’t be long before Golden Tate makes his decision. The way I see it is he is basically already a Patriot. If he makes any other decision then he’s way too stupid to ever succeed in New England anyways.

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Golden Tate is more of a fucking idiot than my brain could ever fathom.

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