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Dave Portnoy Said He’d Do A Porn For $1 Million Soooooo Here’s The GoFundMe

Branded Sports

Yesterday Dave said on the rundown he’d do a pron for $1 million. Naturally that means one thing, it’s GoFundMe time.

GoFundMe

GoFundMe

GoFundMe

Look, does anyone actually want to watch Dave fuck for the sexual arousal? Most likely not. Dave is obviously easier on the eyes now then he was back during Barstool’s humble beginning.

old portnoy.PNG

Still have a difficult time believing that picture is actually Dave. The man has come a long way and he is a walking definition of a glow up. From rags to riches, from Milton to New York, now from blogging to banging.

With that being said, this porno is about one thing and one thing only. Breaking the internet. If he does this and throws it on Barstool Gold the subscriptions would sky rocket. In fact, the Chernin Group themselves should be the ones giving him the million. They would make it back 10 fold just on Gold alone in the matter of minutes.

Another reason we and actually Dave needs this porn is it would give Dave an opportunity to do something no one has ever done. Many have tried but all have failed. That is top the Kimmy K sex tape. The gold standard of celebrity sex tapes. Imagine this Dave, you can say you are bigger than the most famous Kardashian. We’ve sent more robots to Mars than people have topped the numbers that sex tape has pulled. You would officially own every corner of the internet. A sex icon.

Maybe Renee could even be your Ray-J, who knows.

So please, don’t donate to help pay Dave’s debts, don’t donate because you want to jerk it to Portnoy. Do it because we need someone to put an end to the Kardashian reign of terror. This. This is that man.

dave-portnoy.jpg

 

-JP

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