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In Honor Of International Women’s Day: What Porn Are We Watching Ladies?

BadGalAli

What better way to celebrate International Women’s Day than an infographic from Pornhub on the top relative searches by women state by state???

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To specify these breakthrough insights, I think this is compared to other states, not necessarily the top searches by state but let’s dissect the infograhic we’re working with. I am always hesitant to believe this fucking charts because they’re almost always a troll to get people defending their state, but there are some real predictable insights here and some shocking revelations.

  • My personal favorite is Montana’s surprise anal searches. I’m wondering if this is for sexual enjoyment or just Montana women doing some research on if they have had surprise anal.
  • A lot of local searches by state. Boston, Philly, Vegas, Milwaukee, Baltimore, Detroit, and Hawaii all just curious how their neighbors are fucking. A little self centered if you ask me but now I need to see Milwaukee porn. Hawaii porn is probably relaxing as fuck. As a woman in Boston I can confirm I have never once searched for Boston porn, but you bet your surprise anal ass that I will later. I imagine Boston porn as some Mark Whalberg impersonator just screaming SAY HELLO TO YA MOTHA FOR ME!!! while drinking a Dunkin iced coffee with extra cream and extra sugar. Maybe even some Dunkin drive thru porn, that’s certainly something I could get into.
  • Nebraska (always forget that state exists) is going to have to explain what a bedgasm is here. Never heard of it but I like it.
  • OK wait I just Googled it and according to Urban Dictionary, a bedgasm is “a feeling of complete and utter euphoria which peaks when climbing into bed at the end of an 18-hour workday, a long road trip or hours of extremely strenuousphysical activity. Under perfect conditions, the physical release has been likened to that of an intense sexual experience.” Now I am fully onboard with bedgasm porn and I actually think I need to investigate this as a potential career opportunity.
  • States that are watching anime, cartoon, My Little Pony…do better. I know some women are probably just dipping their toes into Pornhub here but My Little Pony porn? Wouldn’t that destroy your childhood memories? Cartoon porn? Are people wondering what Mickey Mouse is working with under that belt????
  • I really respect the ladies out here just searching ‘big black dick’. I expected a little more conservative lingo from the ladies with something like ‘large African American genitalia’ but we went straight for big black dick. Nice.
  • Navajo porn seems very random but makes perfect sense for Arizona and New Mexico with all those clay houses and shit. What do they have against Apache porn? I bet the Sioux’s have some hot girls and I think it’s racist to exclude them by searching Navajo alone.
  • I also learned from this that a lot of women are into rough sex porn, bondage, and BDSM. On International Women’s Day I hope these women are across the country just pegging their boyfriends and husbands (or random strangers if you’re into that).
  • Indiana is officially the headquarters for the Daddy Gang. Lots of gluck gluck 9000 happening in Indiana, probably because not much else is.
  • Black women are underrepresented in a lot of areas of life, except the SEC states.

@aliweitz

@badgalstoolie

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