Peanut Butter is the cornerstone of a great american lunch. It’s also the great cornerstone of many great American snacks. That being said there is s true hierarchy of peanut butter brands. The other night I hear Shander, Kmess and the guy in Boston talking crap peanut butter. Then J Roget informs me CEO Joe loves Jif. Dude that’s what we put on rat traps in Delco. Jif. The stuff we accidentally bought at the grocery store. With no further adieu, PB Brand Power Rankings
5. Planters – Stick to the Nuts pal, peanut butter just isn’t your game.
4. Schmuckers – Who told you to step outside the Jelly Market? I want to know and I want a 15 page written apology of why you overstepped your bounds.
3. Jif – Everyone I’ve ever lived with has used this as mouse and rat trap bait. It’s the lesser of the three major Peanut Butter brands. Too much sugar to try and beat out the champs. Add an f to the end too.
2. Peter Pan – It’s acceptable. It’s not what I want in a peanut butter but if it’s on sale and that’s what my mom bought, Middle School Charlie is ok with this decision.
1. Skippy – THE NUMBER ONE AND REIGNING WORLD CHAMPION OF THE PEANUT BUTTER WORLD. IF YOU AINT BUYING SKIPPY THAN YOURE KINDA DIPPY.