Youth Sports Gone Wild 9: Cauliflower Ear

My sophomore year at Cardinal O’Hara(I have to specify, I repeated sophomore year at Episcopal) was supposed to be a victory tour of the catholic league for me. I was second in the catholic league my freshmen year, losing only to a senior. Sadly things didn’t go the way they should’ve and one big part was my puffy ear.

The first time we met Archbishop Wood was at Cardinal O’Hara for our league meet. I was wrestling 135 against a kid name Sean who I never heard of before. It’s the third period and I was having a hard time pinning him when I let him up to neutral so I could take him down and let him up so I could get a techfall(Win by 15) instead. I take him down, now up by 4 and I let him back up and to my surprise this rat bastard punches me in the face. Ok. Now I’m fucking pissed. I hear my dad from the stands say, “That fucking idiot”. My dad and my youth coaches had a theory about me:

“Piss Charlie off and he’s unstoppable.”

These assholes tortured me as a kid. They’d smack me, pull my hair and tell me the kid called me names in hopes it would piss me off and I’d go off on the other kid.

We reconvene and the ref makes us shake hands again to ease the tensions, I squeezed like I was gonna break it off. Whistle blows and without hesitation I snap the prick to a standing cement mixer, I grab the chin and get an underhook and I kick this fucker in the balls as hard as I can as I fall to my own back. I kick him up over top of me with the shot to the nuts and land on top. Now it’s time as my dad would always scream to


Took 6 seconds to pin him after he pissed me off. We shake hands, I call him a pussy as we walk by each other back to our sides.

Funnily enough we meet again at the catholic league tournament. I’m struggling to pin this prick again and my headgear is off. Used to be if your headgear fell off you could finish the period without it. I’m winning big again and aiming for a tech fall. We’re in neutral and this prick connects a punch right to my ear. I go down. I’m hurt and my ear is throbbing. This prick is calling me a pussy and gets hit with a few points. I get up angrier than ever. 14-0 with 25 seconds left. He shoots and I crossface him with a helluva punch. Bastard is tearing up but as I learned, referees will look past some stuff if you’re acting like an asshole on the mat. We get back up to our feet and I locked up the douchiest move I possibly could think of: The Flying Merkle. I let this baby fly and end up pinning the prick. After the match I get my ear looked at. It’s three times it’s normal size and gross as hell. First stage of Cauliflower Ear.

It throbs. It wooshes with blood moving around when you touch it and hurts so much you fall to the floor. Then it comes to the fun part: You go to the doc and he pierces it with a needle and your blood and some yellow shit flow all over you. You think, that wasn’t so bad. Nope. Worst part’s still coming. He takes this weird ass knife and cuts through your ear dropping more of this blood and goo all over you and he sticks cotton through it. Then you get to go to school and walk around with gross bloody ear cotton as it heals up and change your gross bloody ear cotton in front of all the girls in you have crushes on. THEY LOVE THAT🤮. Take it from me kids. Wear your head gear. Then you get to live with a rock in your ear the rest of your life and sometimes if sharp chunks break off they come right through the skin of your ear.

Back to my buddy. Would you believe I end up wrestling this dude two more times that season?

Guess who got punched and who got pinned two more times?


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