Irina Shayk Needs To Have The Russian Government Take Care Of Lady Gaga

I don’t know how secure with yourself you have to be to let the events at the 2019 Oscars just happen. I’ll never reach that level of confidence. Partially because I do not look like this:

Screen Shot 2019-02-24 at 10.30.53 PM

While she might be putting up a good front, Bradley Cooper’s girlfriend Irina Shayk needs to put Lady Gaga in her place. Everyone on Twitter and at the Oscars except for Irina thinks Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga are fucking. At this point I think most people would be disappointed if they haven’t. I don’t care if you’re a Russian supermodel who was on the cover of Sports Illustrated and used to date Cristiano Ronaldo, you need to put an end to this immediately.

Screen Shot 2019-02-24 at 10.14.42 PM

Bradley Cooper has come a long way since his Hangover days and he has suddenly learned how to sing. Unpopular opinion: Bradley Cooper’s best role was Sack in Wedding Crashers. This may be a hot take but I am not a huge Bradley Cooper gal, he just doesn’t get the juices flowing for me. In my opinion he should be thanking his lucky stars to land a girl like Irina Shayk.

Screen Shot 2019-02-24 at 10.31.04 PM

I’m sure A Star Is Born is a lovely movie. Irina is a cool girl for allowing Bradley to even be in this movie with Lady Gaga. She’s probably the last possible person on Earth I’d want my boyfriend doing a Oscar love story movie with. Gaga will not hesitate to stare into his eyes and take his entire soul. Irina has had to witness this exact situation at least 45 times since the two have been galavanting around the globe eye fucking and actual fucking on stage and on TV for the past 6 months while she’s at home taking care of their daughter.

Exactly how did it go when Bradley came home after this night?


Normal hot girls will key your car if you like a bathing suit selfie on Instagram. And you’re telling me a Russian supermodel is just totally cool with it? The rest Best Actress award should have gone to Irina for this performance.

She tried to pull the biggest power move by sitting directly between Gaga and Cooper at the beginning of the show, but there was nothing she could do when those 2 stepped on stage to perform Shallow for the 347th time.

Screen Shot 2019-02-24 at 10.14.15 PM.png

Just sitting back, calm, cool and collected while her boyfriend and his mistress cackle it up at the Oscars. I mean, Lady Gaga may be an Oscar winner, but she’s a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model…

Screen Shot 2019-02-24 at 10.30.40 PM.png

After Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper shut down the Internet with their electric sexual tension, we didn’t even get a reaction shot from Irina, who hopefully was on the phone with her connections in Russia. We had intense staring, embracing and cheek to cheek rubbing.

Screen Shot 2019-02-24 at 10.15.23 PMScreen Shot 2019-02-24 at 10.13.38 PM

There was a genuine moment I thought they would give the whole “we’re not fucking” thing a rest and make out with Irina sitting front row.

HOW DO YOU ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN?! Unless she has a very strict agreement that the minute the Oscars are over Bradley will never speak to Gaga again, Irina needs to take a good hard look in the mirror and decide if she’s just going to let Lady Gaga steal her man with those tears and that falsetto.

I would have paid to be a fly on the wall the minute Irina found out that Gaga and her fiance split up. She better be milking this right now for a ton of expensive jewelry and vacations. Bradley’s gotta be doing everything possible to keep the Russian mafia off his trail. This is not the type of situation a guy like Bradley Cooper can get involved in–he’s no match for the Russians. If Gaga goes missing tomorrow, I wouldn’t blame Irina one bit.



0 0 votes
Article Rating

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments