Bull Riding Is Nuts…

Joey Boats

Okay, so the Oscars were last night and it was a mildly entertaining ride. Every year, there are always a couple surprises and last night, to an extent, was no different. Bohemian Rhapsody claimed their fair share of awards and Green Book—my favorite movie of the year, so the best movie of the year—ended up taking Best Picture. I wrote a full review on Green Book (no spoilers) last week but I need to get to the most important moment of last night…

Bigotry was winning the Oscars last night until it came time to announce the winner for Best Documentary Short. There were five nominees in this category—none of which I saw—but justice was served when Period. End of Sentence. bellowed throughout the sound system at the Dolby Theater. It was a MONUMENTAL night for menstrual equality because that’s evidently a thing. It’s about damn time, which brings me to my next topic: bull riding.

About a week ago, my buddy asked me if I wanted to attend a bull riding event in Western Mass last Saturday and, well, why the fuck not? Whether it’s yoga, vegan restaurants, or Klan rallies, I’m always open to trying new things; therefore, I went and HOLY SHIT was it eye-opening.

Before I get into it, let me make things clear: going to events, in general, suck. I’ll never drive into another event again in my life. It’s train or bust. Between the price of parking—I literally paid more for some concrete structure to babysit my Ford Fiesta than I did to gain access to the DCU Center—to the anxiety of timing when you need to leave in order to beat the traffic back to the highway, it sucks. Not to mention a Bud Light is $11. Give me a break, dude…

Anyway, so I headed into this event with very little knowledge on the sport. The closest I’ve ever been to watching bull riding was on a bachelor trip to Nashville. Evidently, the sport is actually this simple: You jump on a bull, try to stay on said bull for over four seconds, and then you get thrown off… rinse and repeat… for three hours.

Now, I’m not here to completely bash it. I had a fun time at the event actually. There’s just something about southern culture that’s incredibly endearing. It’s a charming atmosphere where people wear cowboy hats, talk “lahk thes,” and actually love our country. In other words, I love the south, but those people don’t give a fuck…

The one thing I couldn’t help but think throughout the entire event was “How is this still legal?” I mean, the NFL has been under INTENSE fire over the past few years with concern to CTE -related lawsuits. There has been a nationally-released movie, constant sports desk dialogue, and roughly 45 million Outside The Lines segments. Not to mention, a lot of football programs are getting shut down due to an inability to properly insure their players.

Understandably, the NFL is an ENTIRELY different monster, but in the end, I don’t see how something like this exists. In other words, to do this whole bull riding thing, you need to have a few screws loose. I mean, I watched an entire season of football and only saw a handful of guys leave that blue ten with a positive diagnosis; all it took was an hour of bull riding to see some dude get his head kicked into Rhode Island by a 2,000 lb. Brahman. Legs were twitching and shit. It was wild.

So yeah, it took me until this paragraph to realize I don’t necessarily have a point or even and argument on anything. This is the type of problem you run into when you’re constantly trying to force genuine content, rather than clickbait so… fuck, I don’t know. See ya tomorrow…?

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