Is This The Biggest Douchebag In Sports Right Now?

Okay, so I know the major buzz from this story is nearly a week old but I’m glad I waited on blogging it. Given the current social media climate, subscribing to a shoot first, ask questions later ideology often pays off in the form of page views/social traction; however, I find that being the last guy to the crime scene tends to have its advantages.

For those unfamiliar, the story I’m referring to all started back in November when Matt Kuchar made a last-minute decision to compete in the Mayakoba Classic, a tournament near Cancun that ultimately resulted in Kuchar’s first PGA Tour victory in four years.

Since the decision was spawned last-minute, Kuchar’s full-time caddie was unable to make the trip, forcing Kuchar to enlist the services of Giral Ortiz—a caddie working at the local resort who routinely makes roughly $200 a day.

According to reports, Kuchar and Ortiz agreed to the following payment stipulations: $1000 for missing the cut, $2000 for making the cut, $3000 for a top-20 finish and $4000 for a top-10 finish. Evidently, the two never discussed any provisions for if Kuchar managed to win the tournament, so when the dust eventually settled and Kuch left the 18th with some hardware, Ortiz was given 5k for his efforts and things seemingly ended on a high note.

Turns out, that wasn’t the case because, after another Kuch win at the Sony Open about a month ago, rumors began circulating that Ortiz was unhappy with his compensation back in November, citing that the going rate for full-time caddie is roughly 10% of what the golfer ends up earning. Therefore, if you’re in Ortiz’ camp, your argument is that Ortiz should’ve been handed around 130k of Kuchar’s 1.3 million dollar payout for his finish.

Now, when this story initially surfaced, I—like seemingly everyone else on social media—thought that Kuchar’s a douchebag for what he did. When it’s all said and done, he still is; however, when I start to really peel back the layers on everything, this Ortiz guy is coming off like a real, entitled piece of shit.

For starters, I guess Ortiz spoke with and it was discovered that Kuchar eventually offered him $15,000 for his involvement, but Ortiz rejected the offer, claiming he was entitled to $50,000. Like what, dude?

So yeah, as I said, there’s no way around it: Kuchar’s a certified dick for this move. I’ll never tell people how to operate their finances; nevertheless, I reserve the right to judge people based on it.

When you’re someone with nearly 50 million dollars in career earnings and end up winning another mil with the assumed “help” of someone else, I think you owe that person a little more than a few saw bucks. It’s sort of like if you’re riding a heater in blackjack or something. When that waiter/waitress comes by with another drink, you throw a little extra on the top in the name of good karma.

That said, are we all going to sit here and pretend this Ortiz dude isn’t the biggest douchebag of all time. For starters, primary reason he’s pissed about all this is because the money he receives pails in comparison to the standard rate that full-time tour caddies receive. And that’s fair, but at the same time, you’re not a fucking full-time tour caddie, dude.

And that’s the thing: This guy doesn’t work with Kuchar routinely. He doesn’t know Kuchar’s strengths/weaknesses as well as a full-time caddie would and that alone is enough to dilute his involvement at Mayakoba. For all we know, all this guy did was carry a bag, wipe dirt off a few club heads, and rake a couple sand traps. Strictly speaking, Ortiz is some scrub with just enough clout at a resort to justify a pro pairing. Considering that’s the case, don’t tell me you deserve the standard going rate.

And that’s the other thing: this whole era of entitlement that’s perpetuated by people blowing up celebrities’ spots for their lack of gratuity is ridiculous. For those keeping score at home, celebrities being cheap, narcissistic pricks isn’t necessarily hot stove news. However, in their defense, I served as a waiter for several establishments for several years and I’d be lying if I contended it isn’t an incredibly entitled profession.

I can’t tell you how much time is spent in the kitchen bitching about customers. Most of the time it’s justified, but other times, people need to just shut the fuck up. I’m not going throw you a fundraiser because you only received 10% for popping a couple bottle caps. And it’s the same with this clown.

When you really get down to the nitty gritty here, this dude got lucky. He ended up getting paired with a tour pro at the spur of the moment and the guy played his ass off. You carried clubs for four days. That doesn’t justify a six-figure payday. Grow up…

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