Happy 31st birthday to the original BadGal, Rihanna! It’s a national holiday for the badgal crew like me who treat Rihanna like a religious symbol. I’m waiting on this Rihanna prayer candle to arrive from the UK as we speak.
I could celebrate by posting a million half naked photos of Riri, explaining why her giving zero fucks about anything is my biggest inspiration in life. How she has made me question my sexuality and forced me to spend my life savings on Fenty Beauty and Savage X products that I don’t really need but NEED.
All of that is pretty standard though. If Rihanna hasn’t made you question your sexuality a little bit, you need to get medical attention.
Rihanna’s internet clapbacks are my favorite things to ever exist on the Internet. I’ve made it clear that in life my biggest fear is running into Riri in some situation and having to think of something cool but normal to say. Undoubtedly, I would crumble into a puddle of Nature’s Valley granola bar pieces and cry but I’m trying to be prepared.
Some people have wandered into the trap of commenting on Rihanna’s Instagram or Twitter thinking she isn’t going to see any of it. 99% of the time I bet she doesn’t. She must have a dedicated social media person for comments that are extra shady, because every once in a while she’ll drop the hammer. I can’t comment on the status of these people to this day, but BadGalRiri is destroying lives. This one is the Holy Grail of clapbacks.
Rihanna turned this one into money by naming her eyeliner “cuz I’m black” based on this famous clapback.
Someone had the audacity to complain about Riri showing a little T&A:
She didn’t even fall back when people were pissed she started following Chris Brown again a few years after their incident.
Imagine calling Rihanna a hoe fo sho and thinking you’re gonna get away with it?
No one is safe not even celebrity gossip sites or MTV.
And if you’re a celebrity, Rihanna will come even harder at you.
Thank god we have all been blessed with Queen Riri to keep the internet in check. Please don’t ever think you’re going to shade the queen of petty and get away with it.
Happy birthday Robyn Rihanna Fenty! Here’s a hot GIF for good measure.