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Lil Xan Gonna be a Dad!

Jay Rogét

Great news everyone!  Chart-topping rapper, Lil Xan is going to be a father!!

 

Nicholas Diego Leanos, aka Lil Xan, is expecting his first child with his girlfriend of less than five months!  This is such great news, and I’m super happy for them!  There is one person in this whole scenario that I’m not too happy for.

The poor kid.

Imagine growing up and your dad is Lil Xan.  This face-tatted, mumble rapping, pill popping loser is the one this kid is supposed to look up to?

lil xan
Matthew Eisman / Getty Images

Jesus.  I mean, he’s literally named after Xanax.  What a role model.  How is he supposed to tell his future kid to stay away from drugs and stay out of trouble when he is a high school dropout who is named after a drug that people OD on all the time?

I saw an interview where he claims that he does not take Xanax, he does not condone the use of Xanax, and he does not want to be associated with the drug.  Are you fucking kidding me?  You’re literally named after the drug that killed your boy Lil Peep.  If you don’t want to be associated with Xanax, then change your name.

This junkie rapper’s Twitter handle is @lilxanfuhyobih.  Aka, Lil Xan Fuck Your Bitch.  Is that a handle that a father should have?  I get it, I get it.  He’s not a father yet!  He still has time to get his act together!  Unfortunately, that’s not how this world works; that’s not how the internet works.  Once this kid is born and goes to school, he/she will be subject to dealing with the fact that their father is/was the shitty mumble rapper, Lil Xan.  Man, I feel bad for the kid.

The one thing that grinds my gears more than anything else, is that he just broke up with Noah Cyrus a few months ago and is already having a kid with his new squeeze.  Noah Cyrus is the sister of the much more famous, and much better looking, Miley Cyrus.  Miley is my GIRL.  ‘Party in the USA’ was the theme song of my wedding – and possibly my life.  You did Noah wrong – which means you did Miley wrong – which means you did ME wrong.

I’ll never forgive you for this, Lil Xan.  You scum bag.

 

 

Featured Photo – popcrush.com

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