Beautiful 5 Bedroom Home For Sale Equipped With A Complete Sex Dungeon

Branded Sports


“50 shades of Maple Glen”. One of a kind surburban home with a sexy twist. Full finished walk-out basement w bilco doors, includes a gym or 5th bedroom and also is a private adult sexual oasis. It can be converted back to a typical suburban basement. Home currently is being offered as an Air B&B rental @maisonxs that gets $750 a night on weekdays and $2000 a night on the weekends for private parties or entertainment.”

First things first. If you walk into a house that has bear skin rugs in every room, 100000000% they also have a fuck dungeon. The people that own this house probably are your average Mr. and Mrs. Jones. Clean cut, nice people. They probably say things like “Howdy neighbor!” or “This weather we’re having…amirght?!?!” Little do we know Mr. Jones blasts the Mrs. in ass with a big rubber fist every night in the sex cave. Or Mrs. into Mr. I’m not ruling anything out with these animals.

You have to respect the grind (no pun intended,) if you’re going to go all 50 Shades, you have to go balls to the wall (pun definitely intended.) Just from this picture above you have chains, whips, the fist with movable fingers, a bench of some sort that I don’t fully understand. But there is one thing in this picture that says, “we’re the not fucking around crew.” That’s the little fan in the corner. This house is too nice not to have AC. So that means these two are going so bananas on each other’s naughty bits that this basement needs extra cooling devices. Just do me a favor, think about that.

Two other things I notice here that needs to be addressed.

1. They have the pillory attached to the bed. Gives the pit of misery a whole new meaning.

2. If this is the stuff they just leave out for the realtor to take pictures of, just imagine what’s hiding behind those doors. These two left a fake fist and gags for potential buyers, think of what they are embarrassed to show. I’d be willing to bet my life that behind that locked closet door there is a caged midget. It’s the only thing that makes sense.

So if you live in the Philadelphia area and you’re looking into buying a home that isn’t haunted by ghosts, but instead the eternal echos of anal sex, boy do I have a place for you.

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