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Roger Goodell Continues To Ruin Everything: Has Dave Portnoy Arrested During Media Day

CEO Joe

Roger Goodell stinks, I think we can all agree with that. Doesn’t matter what team you root for, Roger will find a way to ruin your enjoyment of the NFL. Last night was no different. During Super Bowl media day, which traditionally is a total smorgasbord of idiots that are either not funny or just there asking the same boring questions, Dave Portnoy was there asking the hard-hitting questions. Things we really wanted to hear, like the answers to the Gurley debacle from earlier this year.

I too had the Rams and the over that game, now did I have 40K on it?  Not exactly.  But I did have enough to ruin my Sunday evening. I want answers, I need answers. Thank you Dave for being brave enough to look that coward in the face and demand he be held accountable for his behavior.

Or how about Dave taking on one of the leagues dirtiest players to ever strap on the pads? Looks death right in it’s face and dares him to even breathe on Brady wrong. Dave might be the best LT to never pay the game the way he protects his quarterback.

Where I think Roger really got pissed was when Dave got inside Jared Goff’s brain and built a three story mansion with an Olympic sized pool and a tiki bar that has Landshark on tap. Everyone knows Goodell hates the Patriots, so after watching Portnoy basically take a touchdown away from the Rams by grilling Goff, he called in the hounds.

Imagine all the amazing footage you robbed the NFL fans from having by kicking Dave out before chatting with a single Patriot.

Not just Dave either, PFT was also arrested later in the night and interrogated by the FBI. The FBI? PFT is basically a koala bear with sunglasses. He just wants to eat bamboo and talk about Joe Flacco. He’s as harmless as a man with no limbs.

Roger hates Dave because he’ll never be Dave. I’m biased.  I’m a Portnoy guy.  With that being said, Roger could never have the influence that Dave has. He got an entire football stadium to hold up towels with Roger’s clown face on it. Could Goodell do that if he tried? Not a chance.

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This is a classic case of ‘unpopular nerd boy trying to seek revenge against the cool kid that keeps boding him on a daily basis.’ My hope is that one day Peter Chernin buys an NFL team and makes Dave the GM. That way Roger would be forced to either A. retire because he’s soft as baby shit or B. actually meet face to face with Portnoy.

I’m not even a Pats fan.  I’m a fan of justice and it needs to be served. I demand a public apology from Goodell for his unlawful treatment of a man….no wait, a hero, just trying to give the people what they want. Until you apologize, Roger, I will hold my breath.  So unless you want my blood on your hands I suggest you give Dave a call. Annnnnnnnndddd begin.

 

 

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