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KMESS HAS BEEN BITTEN BY A SHARK!!! (NSFW)

CEO Joe

Woke up this morning to a text from KMess. All it said was “bit by a shark bro” with two pictures. As many of you may or may not know, Kevin is on vacation this week. He and the wife are bouncing island to island on a cruise ship like the high class asshole he is. In the dead center of January everyone dreams of being on an island somewhere enjoying drinks out of a coconut like this prick.

The only thing that can turn this dream vacation into a nightmare is God’s most terrifying creature, the shark aka THE MURDER FISH! One moment you’re sipping on a mojito in crystal clear water off a white sand beach. The next you’re in a fight for your life against an enemy you don’t understand and can’t defeat.

Frightening.

Anyway, here is how we believe Kevin’s incident went down.

 

Scary stuff guys. As I said before he sent me two pictures. The first was this:

img_2456

That’s the picture of a man trying to keep it together and stay brave for his loved ones. Kevin knows he will be facing a long and difficult road to recovery. Will I walk again? Will my family accept me for me? Can I still get boners? All of these questions are rushing through his head. Before I show you the gory image, please brace yourself.

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No turning back..

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Remember to be seated..

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Here we go..

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Look at that carnage! Thoughts and prayers to my man Kevin. Safe travels home or being medevacked or whatever. RIP Kevin’s foot.

 

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